bored pricks neva prosper

airport post

2006-08-06T05:37:00.000+08:00

blardy terminal with barely responsive keys in madrid airport t4........ just so bored at midnite waiting for a morning flight.... i want to go home...

2006-05-06T03:07:00.000+08:00

body number 5319

the ills of gambling...sg is a society that resonates to the throw of dice... our fortunes go to the beat of lil balls tumbling around inside a bigger ball and depends on where a ball thousands of miles away ends up after being kicked around by 22 players whom we do not know..... the entire society sends millions of messages through the air staking millions more upon hte result of events that they have no way of influencing... what happens when the entire establishment of this hidden code where the fate of millions are recorded on a tiny sheet of paper or online on a server hidden away in a dark vault.... when the world is destroyed the last thing that a gambler saw was goal bound shot fly past the goal-keeper and then the power died just before he could find out...it was his last hope as he had bet his last dollar on that match and could not lose...the world had crumbled and he had no idea how the match ended....

he was stunned and did not know how to react..he needed to find out exactly how the match ended....society is crumbling around him and he did not care instead only caring about the outcome of the match....he heard a rumour of one last working computer with internet access which he could use to find the score...he needed to know what the score was..his entire life rode on the result...without any sort of equipment and ignoring hte pleas of others around him for help he set forth on his noble journey...to find out hte score in order to collect his money!

he set forth looking for that fabled internet terminal...he marched over the rubble and beyond the cries of those asking for help...he traversed empty streets and scaled walls to get to his destination...when he neared his destination he tripped over the out-strectched hand 1/2 buried in rubble and found himself impaled on a piece of metal...as he cursed his bad luck and cursed at hte hand he saw who teh hand belonged to, it was his bookie who had been killed in the initial explosion...so even if they won...he wouldnt be able to collect his money...

two body collectors walked by and checked the the two bodies for collection...they searched the bookie and found his ic so they managed to give him the right name...but for our gambler they searched his entire body but could not find any identification on him....the only thing they found on him was a 4d slip....so until they could identify his body properly..he would be body number #5319

who?

2006-04-30T17:08:00.000+08:00

i realised that the who is probably the worst band to intro to another person whom does not know that they exsist... a normal conversation would go something like this...

a: hey there is this kick-ass band you should listen to!!
b: who?
a: exactly!
b: what?
a: who!!
b: who?
a: the who!
b: huh? who?
a: yeah! who!
b: who are they?
a: the who!!
b: who???
a: no the who!
b: the who??
a: yeah!
b: ........????...........

conversation repeats....yeah i know its stolen from dr who...bitch...

3 angry dudes

2006-04-28T23:22:00.000+08:00

3 different interpretions of sg...3 different outlooks...are we governed, lead or ruled??
what happens when they all clash??

V

2006-03-17T16:19:00.000+08:00

read many reviews for V for vendetta...from all of them i am most pissed off by the comments that say that it is a wonderful action movie....the action in the book was never the focal point...i can understand why alan moore is pissed at the adaptation of the book... i would be if the script loses sight of what is important totally... the most important parts of the book were abt the political discussions...how the imagery lends to the idea of revolution...the idea of how anarchy can be an acceptable form of government other than the nationalistic style...

why did they bother change the little bits of imagery that the book has? in order to soften the blow to allow more ppl to watch it?? geez...u are diluting the message...irritating...and worthless.... make it a commentary of society...the most important scene to me was the one where evey gets teh toilet paper...in fact read the bloody book...dun get the stupid adaptation of hte screenplay...

alan moore's work must be taken in totality...

2006-03-02T21:18:00.000+08:00

read local 4
brian wood is beyond god-like

bus ride

2006-02-26T20:43:00.000+08:00

hmm wonder if i can write this one properly....

it begins on a bus... with two people sitting on a bus...seemingly oblivious to each other... well not seemingly...really oblivious to each other...den suddenly there they notice each other...their eyes meet for a second...and a current of electricity passes through the air between them.... it must be nothing...each of them thinks as they turn away... over-reaction..

well there are people sitting in between them...so each of them sneaks peeks at each other...both of them cant believe that they are actually doing that... she thinks that she shldnt be doin this..she is a ger!.. she shldnt need to do the chasing...the guy well is gutless...he aint sure abt her reaction and is just stalling..... well the bus reaches a popular stop most of the bus passengers gets up and is leaving the bus... the guy well gets up as well and attempts to make some sorry attempt to get closer to the ger in order to talk to her...well as sorry attempts go... they go awry.. his sad attempts to get closer just leads to him sitting 2 seats behind her... thought bubble (fuck..
)

well she thinks that he left the bus... oh well...he was cute but den.... guess it wasnt meant to be... a few stops later she gets off the bus...as she is just getting off hte bus...she turns around...and sees the guy...who is staring right at her...they exchange a smile but she is already in mid-step and the next thing she knows she is off the bus and the bus doors have closed and the bus is speeding away...

the guy watches as the ger speeds away in the distance...his whole body seemingly plastered to the seat...he leans back places both hands on his head in frustration and once again... (fuck...)

quirk of fate... later in the day she gets back onto another bus.. finds a seat and sits down on hte outside seat...the day has been too long to bother with another person sitting next to her..she places her ear-phones on and begins to shut herself off from hte world... the bus reaches a stop and she is hoping that no-one would want to sit next to her... her hopes were dashed as she noticed a shadow start to creep nearer to her... in fact that shadow is almost over her when she finally decides to look up and see who is disrupting her tranquility... it is the guy with a smile on his face... (hi...)

 My girl, my girl, don't lie to me
Tell me where did you sleep last night

In the pines, in the pines
Where the sun don't ever shine
I would shiver the whole night through

My girl, my girl, where will you go
I'm going where the cold wind blows

Her husband, was a hard working man
Just about a mile from here
His head was found in a driving wheel
But his body never was found

i love you

2006-02-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

hmm its a thought...

10 years into the future... the entire country is covered in cctvs... they cover every single part of the island.. a new class of people has formed...one that watches cctvs as a job, watches them their entire lives...large screens flickering with images of a life that they do not lead...they watch so many different lives that they sometimes cannot rmb which life is actually theirs..

well one of them fell in love with a ger whose life he only can see, he believes that he is just a part of her life...he is there all the time with her..wherever she goes he follows and views her activities... all the time

it is almost like he is behind her with her...supporting her... he loves her..he would do everything for her...all this thru the cctvs

then she falls in love

a perfect guy... he makes her smile...everytime she smiles his heart aches...he hates the guy... he uses the system to track the guy down he is obessed with the guy and notes down his schedule... his master plan... as always kill the guy... remove him from her side so that she can be his alone..

as he formulates his plan to kill him he gets lost in the life of the guy...in fact since he is observing guy so much that he becomes him of sort, he knows his schedule down to a pat... in fact he starts to think exactly like him..and his life seems perfect... he is gd-looking and successful
and he has the most wonderful girl in the world as his girlfriend life is good

on v-day the guy picks out a perfect gift for her, he knows that she wants it so badly but never asked it from him b4, he prepares a wonderful dinner and waits for her to return home.... as she steps into their house she stares at him... no expression initially den she asks...who are you??

crash
wrong guy

OR

there never was another guy... he observes her everyday actions and starts to do little stuff... when she goes joggin she would pause at her normal spot and there would be a bottle of water placed there with her name on it... it continues like that... little things appearing in her normal routine whenever she needs them... its like she has a guardian angel watchin over her... she is a little frightened at first... she doesnt know where they come from...but in time she starts to accept them... then he starts to leave little notes for her.. small stuff like gd morning attached to the water bottle on her morning jog... she reads them and smiles whenever she does...he sees its all from the cctvs...

den on vday she goes on her normal jog...in the early morning the mist gather as she runs, she is actually flushed with anticipation, wondering what she would get this morning.... as she reaches the spot she doesnt spot the water bottle and is chrestfallen... she goes to the usual pedestal and looks around it she cant find anything...

another split

1) she turns around and on the wall directly in front of her there is a rose hanging from a cctv.. there is a not attached to the rose... the note reads..

I love you

it ends as she faces the camera...and mouths the word
tambien

2) he is behind her holdin the bottle... and just goes hi
ends with her smile...

inspiration...

2006-02-14T00:22:00.000+08:00

what inspires me?
i wish i could create with my two hands something .... i am so sick of readin the same stuff about financial issues... i do not feel dead...but i definately do not feel alive... i have not felt alive in a long time...perhaps its just an addiction which i need to get a hit to relieve it..but i seriously do not feel alive...

i need to do something, i need to string words together...hell i want to draw as well...i want to start doing something with my life.. make it all worthwhile...i dun want to write a book its too long... my love of movies tends to dictate taht i want to direct or something....create powerful imagery and i guess comic books is one way of doing that...

i dunno aniwae here is a list of my influences....

comics
alan moore (duh)
neil gaimen
warren ellis (crazy fuck)
grant morrison (mad)
brian wood
brian k vaughn
jim lee (cos he draws sooo nice)
harold suzuki (beck rocks)
naoki urasawa (monster rocks too)
hell and a whole lot more...

movies
francis ford coppola
sergio leone
hideo kojima (if only just for MGS)
heh a whole bunch more actors and directors....old movies are so nice...

rant

bouts

2006-01-18T06:32:00.000+08:00

how do we quantify creativity?? i wish i would bottle it, place it into a form that is easily injested and pop the pills every now and then, well some people believe that they actually found it. LSD, hehe well the magic liquid is actually being debated as an aid to help people open up the various pathways in their brain so that we can see things in another manner, but is it actually seeing things in another way? could it be as simple as the fact that we are born coded in a particular way and we cannot accept programs that do not recognise our OS and as a result we reject the idea? how den do we adapt ourselves to be able to accept all types of programs written in all languages? our brains are wired in a particular manner which we are used to, we are blessed by it because it defines us, and as per oscar wilde, it limits us. the only way that we can accept all i just would be that we remove all the wiring, wireless heh...well its also the onset of insanity. but what is insanity? it is acting/thinking in a way that society in general cannot accept or understand (least that is my defination/limitation) so in order to be truly acceptive of all sorts of programing and codes we need to reformat our mind and let the codes implant themselves in..... in order to see the world we must destroy everything that we have.... only thru insanity can we see, madness.....

i dream, the beauty of delirium.... frothing at the mouth.... who needs material goods when your eyes can reveal all teh beauties of the world? the world is beautiful and the world beyond our sky is infinitely more so.... yet what we can fathom is limited.... sadness... within and beyond...look within to see beyond... fathom beyond to discover within...the world is in balance.... yet eyes that see only what is in front of them prevent such discovery.... what i feel is unimportant in comparison to what i think.... thought is fleeting... it leaves a wisp of scent... seductive and yet almost impossible to rediscover.....

2005-11-17T20:24:00.000+08:00

WCG!!
WCG!!
Need to go see WCG!!!
GO SINGAPORE!!

this is the only sport we truly have a hope for, everyday i see our proud youths spending their precious time and money to improving their skills so that one day they may make a mark on the gaming world. it really brings a tear to my eye.... i feel so ashamed that i am nothing more than a noob who cant give them competition...oh well i can still cheer them on!!! (even though they are like 14....)

rant
bang bang bang ownnnzzzzzzz
noob

2005-11-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

still as always, lookin for a wonderwall

say maybe

2005-11-13T01:48:00.000+08:00

hmm on another note, do i need a supporter or a foil?
cant get anyone to support me
and where the hell can i find a foil?
those dun exactly grow on trees

a foil? or a supporter?
how long can i be happy with a supporter?
can i or can i not?
seriously do not know, its not impossible
heh just gotta try i guess

with a foil i can scorch the earth
but nonetheless with a supporter i can be happy
and wat is a cleansed world? if i am alone?
heh i've got a feeling i cant hide
oh yeah oh yeah!!
all van gogh needed was someone to believe in him

heh well pm lee is stronger for being with ho ching
so many examples for so many different permutations
all of them related, none of them changes anything
i write my own story
create my own fate/destiny
and what comes, comes
let it be
let it be

beatled rant

fools

2005-11-13T01:42:00.000+08:00

fools do things for no reason
fools are satisfied with little
fools believe that the world is limited to theirs
fools fools fools

sounds good
well the world would be so much simpler if i was a fool
but i cant scorch the earth if i was a fool
so since i aint a fool
i need to get myself ready to scorch the earth
let the flames cleanse
ashes to ashes

2005-10-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

sometimes u aint sure what to do
sometimes its just like a the clash song
should i stay or should i go
it doesnt always make sense

well in doubt, just choose the most logical and ignore the rest

dreams

2005-10-02T03:26:00.000+08:00

where do dreams go? i wonder where do they disappear as we awaken or grow older....

i am lookin at both my hands now as i was reminded by a chat with y-chan how lil i have achieved. for all the ability that i was bestowed, all the potential that i was supposed to have.. how much of it have i developed?? so lil.....

ok does that mean that i am past the time for growth? i do not think so...i will never realise my full potential..but i should work towards it...sigh shld be slapped lest i forget again...and just drift....

let me bankai..

2005-09-29T01:07:00.000+08:00

evil bred within my soul
unleash it to burn the world
tie it down and i will be trod over
searchin for the key to my gate
open my gate and let the monster out

LET ME OUT!!
LET ME LEAVE THE WORLD IN ASHES

bankai

scream of the ages...

2005-09-24T00:08:00.000+08:00

scream....its better than exploding......

coming of age

2005-09-02T00:53:00.000+08:00

watch y tu mama tambien....was described to be as risque...oh yesh it is....a coming of age story for boys isnt a coming of age story for boys if there isnt sex in it...and when boys/teenagers are concerned they are everyready for that activity...well it just came to my attention that hmm the gers are also a willing participant to the boys coming of age right....one's hand doesnt really cut it as a tool for personal erm growth...hahahaha

well there has always been this debate that asian guys are not as mature as their western counterparts...they do not know how to treat gers right...they do not know the feelings of gers...lil boys.....well this always changes after the coming of age expierence...which is mainly sex...so by actually holding out on guys...they are actually hurtin their mental growth and hence hurting their chances of finding the *right* guy....

guys grow up in spurts not gradually...their lives are shaped by events...not by a series of small expierences....so the events in the guy's life have to earth-shatterin in order to achieve the needed growth...army is an earth-shatterin exp..but honestly do you gers want that to be the event that advances sg guy's growth?? as u can tell from ppl like myself who has since left the service...this kinda growth is rather uneven and terribly vulgar........

so ladies of the great nation of singapore and hell asia in general...u want ur boy to grow into a man...screw him and screw him good...and watch him mature into a man overnight....

gd nite

good morning sir...

2005-08-28T15:04:00.000+08:00

its another morning, pleasse remember to wake up and brush your teeth. Once again we are sorry to inform you that you have overslept. You were supposed to wake up about 30 minutes ago and despite me trying to respectfully wake you up at that time all you proceeded to do was to pat me on the head and wordlessly gesture to me... 5 minutes more...pls.. well i am fed up of trying to wake you up every subsequent 5 mins later

well i only have this to say sir...SLEEP EARLIER!!!! oh well after being in your service for many years we have gotten used to your sleeping patterns and we of your faithful staff are used to the various pats on the head in the morning. We are glad you decided this semester to choose more afternoon lessons so you do not look like a zombie as you stumble out of your bed into outside world. Still you should be better prepared for your morning lesson, last wk you looked more like a character coming out of a concussion, leaning against the walls for support as you left the room.

Your Faithful Servant,
Alarm Clock

rant :P

aan'allein

2005-08-11T22:03:00.000+08:00

time to pick up a sword and flow through the forms

FORZA MILAN!!! FORZA MALDINI!!!

2005-07-31T03:02:00.000+08:00

was walkin by an adidas shop while goin to our hostel on thurs.... as we were walkin by i was lookin in and i saw..hmm AC MILAN luanch of new home jersey, oh well who cares, i dun support milan..den i realised...holy shit....OMFG... SIGNIN SESSION!!!!???! MONKEY BALLS!! and it was the very next day!! WOOHOO!!

we almost missed it.... was searchin for another place to stay...but we got there just in time...yk and me.... spent 70 usd to buy a jersey for them to sign....but it was soooooo worth it...sadly i did not know all the players who signed on hte jersey...but i got the ones that matter...cept for 2...i got vieri...stam....seedof...gattuso...and most imptly... MALDINI!!!! WOOHOO....pure italian class...the only downer is that nesta went off 1/2 way and i dint get my fave player's signature...and that sheva wasnt there...oh well....MALDINI!!!! there will be chances in the future for sheva and nesta.... MALDINI!!! WOOHOO!! left me with no money to shop at hte outlets but WOOOHOO!! MALDINI!!!!!!

FORZA MALDINI!!! I AM A MALDINI TIFOSI!!!! FORZA FORZA MALDINI!!!

SOBE!!

2005-07-22T14:06:00.000+08:00

SOBE is a fantastic place~!!! SOBE stands for SOuth BEach not hte stupid SOBE soya bean stuff we get back in sg... south beach is a place that lived in my mind from out of scarface and vice city.... i am so amazed that hte place looks so much like what i see in the game...even the type of buildings and the different places look hte same...the map looks like the one which i used during the game where i was searchin for the various hidden packages..... hats off to rockstar....walkin along the various beachfront houses which are filled with various restaurants we were seduced into enterin a restaurant by the manager who offered us a free glass of champange, bastard... in the end the bill worked out to abt 200 usd...which is abt 340 sing dollars, the only time i see 340 sing dollar bills are for like 10 course dinners in expensive chinese restuarants... on hte other hand the seafood i took in that meal are like the freshest seafood i haf ever eaten....scallops that taste soooo super fresh.... well and i technically took a lobster fettucine but took soo much of my frens food and shared around it seem like we had 4 different dishes... that set the stage for almost 3 days of binging..... we spent the next day on the beach, den haf another huge dinner b4 hittin the clubs....happening....took a drink called diablos at mangos on south beach which is a mix of 7 liquors...crazy crazy strong shit..... i got high from one drink...ouch...latin music is quite nice.... so mebbie when i was jioed for salsa its more fun than i tot it was....

well i will be leavin for orlando soon.... sobe is almost perfect...well it would be perfect if something/someone was present haha, oh well den i would be poor....at least poorer than i would be now.....

SOBE!!! SOBE!!!!

change

2005-07-18T02:16:00.000+08:00

how fast do the seasons change? do u actaully know when spring gives way to summer? is there a specific date where winter releases its grasp on u and the warmth of spring comes in? is there a moment where suddenly all the leaves have fallen and the chilling gust of winter air takes the land and autumn leaves silently? somedays u think that its finally over and the first days of the next season has started then suddenly it comes back to take a few days back from the next season....

well so how do u know when the various seasons end or start? i do not know. i cant tell when the spring ended here and when the summer started... in hte end i just need to ask, is it impt to know when it ends and when it starts?

the only thing important is the season at hand, i will treasure the season at hand and hope it treats me well..... oh well if it really comes to naught i will try to become musashi, dedicate my life to my the blade.... mebbie thats all i am fated for.... i really hope not...

rant

random thoughts from a sleepless nite

2005-07-08T10:56:00.000+08:00

some thoughts filtered into my head recently been circulatin in there but never actually got down to writing it so here goes

i just wonder if a person can forgive himself for something he regrets is it neccessary a good thing? there must haf been sumthing that caused the regret in the person which the person disagrees with on a personal level. if he ever forgives himself for that action is he just numb to it. just like the way the world is numb to the behavoir of artistes? we are so numb to the debaunchery that it needs more and more to be able to get us critical or even raise our eyebrows..... so when a person does it, is it the same? numbed to the stink

but or is it sumthing more, could it be a greater level of understanding behind the matter that allows the person to go into the subj and realise the inate mysteries of the subj. perhaps he has been enlightened over that subj and understand it fully now. for all things happen for a reason and despite how horrific it can be, if u understand the reason behind it u can start to forgive urself abt it. but den u are not really forgivin urself, just understanding hte world better

oh well dint manage to think so deeply without slp...
rant

2005-06-24T22:14:00.000+08:00

june 22nd new york city
i went to see OASIS!!!! in madison square garden!!!
walked by a WHITE CASTLE !!
can stike a few lines of my things to do in america list!!!!
http://www.imagestation.com/album/index.html?id=2124766948

caps

2005-06-16T22:34:00.000+08:00

woohoo i found another cap lover!! must go with him to lids one day!!

2005-06-16T01:20:00.000+08:00

the world is presently a world of the walking blind. the can look but cannot see. they draw lines and fractions. divide the world by drawin invisible lines..... just because i am not of their fraction i cannot be good, cannot be decent.....

i want to show the world the truth, but i believe liket he aiel they will cover in fear and refuse to believe the truth. cover their ears and look to the heavens for intervention.....

i want to be like the dragon reborn, destroy and burn the world in order to save it from itself. everyday the world is getting closer to imploding, the invisible lines are becoming thicker... so much that they no longer viel the eyes of men but rather forcibly blindfoldin them

wake up pls, i dun want to scorch the earth

open your eyes and for the first time see the world

pls see me as a person for the first time in ur life

pls describe me as a person for the first time ever without including my faction in

i have seen blind men with more sight in their eyes than in your eyes

i dun want to be like rand or anakin to scorch the world

dun force me to become like musashi

dun let this be my mein kampf

assumptions

2005-06-14T14:54:00.000+08:00

assumptions are bad
its good to clear up assumptions
but i think i am still daft

daft prick

2005-06-13T11:35:00.000+08:00

i may have been a daft prick, i dunno. i guess i should have done something, could haf done something but i did not, well the only thing i can say is sorry. It aint a cure, but i will start with sorry

apologies

2005-06-10T15:38:00.000+08:00

2dae's shopping, whee!! another cap!!

2005-06-09T01:04:00.002+08:00

oh yeah MJ..

2005-06-09T01:04:00.001+08:00

G's Up, time to blacken my wardrobe, hip hop!

2005-06-09T01:04:00.000+08:00

after a day of shopping all i got were these....

2005-06-06T13:42:00.000+08:00

Wonderwall

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

apt

R.E.B.E.L

2005-06-05T13:07:00.000+08:00

saw this on a shirt and i like it alot.... R.E.B.E.L....Reveal Everyone By Exposing Lies...

VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!

from which we came to which we shall return

2005-06-03T12:10:00.000+08:00

where do we begin and where do we end? where does my foot begin and where does my leg start? where do i begin to feel where do i begin to hate? is hate the flipside of love? can i lie to myself my entire life?? why do ppl lie to themselves and others?? i belive that it is mainly because it is simple to, that the reality is so much harder to accept. still if u want to lie, den go right ahead...just be prepared to live with it. life aint a video-game, there aint no save and reload functions. if something happens that is not to our liking it is directly due to our choices. live with it.

in destiny's garden u can take many turns, left right left right forward. the only direction u cannot go is backwards....

rant

hmm

2005-06-02T01:19:00.000+08:00

well some pics from the land of the free
arrival to atlantic
washington DC!!

viva la americas!!

differences

2005-05-31T12:25:00.000+08:00

hmm while i was in china i was called like lil kid, cos i am considered to be too young. in usa i keep gettin ppl say hand the tix to the MAN?? hmm i guess its the most obvious differences in value systems other than the dressings...haha

i find it very cute here. over here ppl go in groups, very obvious groups. they like to dress the same, do the same things. over here ppl dun go around alone. they wear teh same stuff and do the hair the same way. if ur are hispanic u not only look like one, u gotta dress like one. there is just the certain style dat u just gotta wear.

herd mentality.
oh well least they ain alone

right and wrong

2005-05-25T02:27:00.000+08:00

how do we determine what we do is right or wrong?

hindsight is a bitch

what i am doin now maybe wrong

it may be right

only thing i can do

LIVE WITH IT

beyond

2005-05-23T12:50:00.000+08:00

what lies beyond the furthest we can see?
what lies beyond the misty shades that fringe our minds?
what lies beyond what we can fathom?
what lies beyond our deepest fears?
what is beyond our petty disagreements?
what is beyond the strongest convictions?

beyond the sky
beyond the stars
beyond

how many dare go to the place beyond?
beyond

decisions

2005-05-19T11:56:00.000+08:00

made a decision

it aint really final, for all i said i wanted to do i havent managed to do them. i havent managed to burn all bridges, i still am resistin the urge to continually dot my sentances. i also am in total agreement with the last thing i hate abt u.

i cant do everything alone. i cant do it if u are scared. i cant do it if u dun want to. i cant do it if u keep running away.

i need to know what u think to make the proper decision. i dint know and i think i may haf made the wrong decision.

it is only the wrong decision if u arent willing to try and face ur fears.

i haf taken one step back onto my path, one step away. i can still walk back and try another path.
but only if u r willin to try take that path together with me.

if not den i will go back to burnin bridges.

awaitin ur reply

decades of discrimination

2005-05-18T00:29:00.000+08:00

visited the holocaust museum in dc today, it was a powerful expierence. an entire musuem dedicated to a part of history dat is etched in so many people's minds. a point of time where people were classified by what they believe in (we still are) and discriminated against by it (we still are). well i learnt something new, sadly i found out that the germans were strong supporters of darwin's evolution theory in which i felt that the present society is allowin the weak to survive which goes against teh theory of survival of hte fittest. well it is true, but the alternative is so cruel. they murdered and sterillized many due to *imperfections* they could not do anything about. they were born with the taint and thus condemned because of it. why cant ppl at that time see past such stuff. guess we are born into an era and most can only see it thru the glasses of the that era.

i just wonder, if i am discriminated against and as a result i discriminate back against them. do i just sink to their level? but the other path is so hard. which way should i walk, do i stand against the all and still try?

think i haf been searchin for sumthing to dedicate my life to

aniwae saw dinosaur bones yest!! whee haha

cold

2005-05-14T11:18:00.000+08:00

ok, i have just stood in the friggin cold for almost 4 hours.... lost sensations at all my extremities and hopped around like a bunny just to try and generate some warmth... i definately need to wear more clothes

my parents cannot get to know of this for they will nag at me incesstantly and tell me to wear more clothes and various other forms of naggin

brr where is the summer????

strangely apt

2005-05-13T12:28:00.000+08:00

Follow Me
Baby, I won't let you leave if you believe in me
And I always set you free from all those yesteryears
But you don't know how much
I got believe in you

I was staring at your shoulder shivering
In such a coldest summer breeze
Meanwhile I wonder why we're here
Look for the line between love and friends
We'll be twisting ourselves again

I was standing at the corner on the street
Watching the wheels are turning free
Waiting to back up on my feet
Reading a line between night and day
I'll be twisting myself again

follow me/rocket boys

fatness is a thing to be concerned abt

2005-05-13T06:35:00.000+08:00

ok i always wondered how americans get so big, it was answered yest when i witnessed an all u can eat buffet. the scene of the buffet was rather disturbin... it was the first time ever where i could not go for a 2nd round and tapped out in the first (well in all fairness i did haf to help the gers finish their food but i dun believe that i could really muster the courage for a 2nd round aniwae) the portions dished out were astronomical....

as i peered at the other tables i realised that they were polishin off the food with relish and finishing them rather quickly.... well our table was struggling with ours...FAT!!

well 2dae i dint go running and rather just skipped breakfast and lunch... dinner was prep by hans and shu and was pretty nice.. tot that i was all set to burn off the fat gained yest but...........................................
well went grocery shopping and we all gave in when we saw 2 gd frens...ben and jerry.... i was seduced by the dark side and gave in.... helped finish off a pint FAT restored

must try to run tml...but it is so cold......hmm

rant

time to begin anew

2005-05-10T04:46:00.000+08:00

of well after 36 hrs of butt-enlargin theraphy i finally got to a place where i can lie down 180 degrees unlike a certain idiot i travelled with....

alrite i am feelin kinda slpy, tired and rather cranky.........
luggin 70 pound blue luggages across the terrain aint the best kinda theraphy
oh well
rant

paths

2005-05-08T02:37:00.000+08:00

i see what i see
i feel what i feel
i taste what i taste
i smell what i smell
i hear what i hear
i am what i am

i made many choices in life
made many turns
left
right
forward
right
right
left
left
left
but somehow
i ended up in the same place as u
tot i would never find another in the same place i am
but actually found someone
would like to continue my journey with company
but that you dun want company
u would rather walk alone
i see the path u took to the same place is different from mine
amazed that we ended up at teh same place
fate or destiny?
chance?
guided?
dun want to walk on alone
but dun want to walk on another's path
should i change myself?
or hope for the other to change?
no time
goin away
runnin away
i was lonely on the path i took
lonliness amidst bristling chilling winds
found a campfire and tot i found warmth
yet it seems to get further away
every step i take closer
3 paths ahead
1 taken by me
1 taken by u
1 new and fresh
which cannot be tackled alone
i dunno how long i will take to meet another
along this path i take
i would wait and see
worst come to worst
i would abandon my path
and follow another's trail
we see

2005-05-08T02:28:00.000+08:00

running away....... guess that is an option u can always take........i personally rather regret doin it wrongly than never at all.......... oh well

Full Moon Sway...
Gentle in the night of one fine day.
I was fool, couldn't let myself to go.
Even for I feel...
The end.
Oh my fair...
Floating like a bird that's in her wings.

Full moon sways...
Gentle in the night of one fine day.
On my way...
Looking for a moment with my dear.
Full moon waves.
Slowly in the surface of the lake.
You are there...
Smilling in my arms for all those years.

What a fool...
I don't know about tomorrow...
What it's like to be.
Ah~

I was sure,
couldn't let myself to go.
Even thoght I feel...
The end.

Oh my fair...
FLoating like a bird that's in her wings.
You are there...
Smiling in my arms for all those years.

What a fool...
I don't know about tomorrow...
What it's like to be.
Ah~

I was sure,
couldn't let myself to go.
Even thoght I feel...
The end.

Full moon sways...
Gentle in the night of one fine day.
you are there.
Smiling in my arms for all thoses years...

aint a rant

2005-05-06T03:16:00.000+08:00

i dun wanna be spike.......y cant i just become vicious......lemme become Vicious... i dun want to be forever pining for my julia........wat cannot be cannot be....i shall regret till the end.....

VICIOUS doesnt feel.......lemme become him...........

a world of contradictions

2005-05-06T02:15:00.000+08:00

apparently what a person can do is insufficient to break some barriers, no matter what he tries he cannot go beyond his station in life.............

he cannot give what he does not have....and if that is insufficient... if all that he can give is insufficient den......................

it is so sad when all he has to offer is insufficient......

what cannot be what can be are all decided by us........and apprently forces beyond....
i am not worthy to bark at the moon.....

freak

2005-05-03T02:58:00.000+08:00

ok my ankle was hurting bad, went bladin for the first time on sat (terribly embaressing revelation) and placed alot of stress on my right ankle while gettin a freakin big blister on the arch on of my right foot. later in the day i went to play vball at tj again... taped it up den went on to play... later while playin in my jnr's team, realised that my right ankle was hurtin... and if my ankle hurts while i am playin...dat also means its very bad... oh well

stupid thing happened while we were playin... jnrs tried to be funny and pissed off i guess alot of ppl... i saw them play that stupid service and shook my head and walked off to find some muscle rub for my calves which hurt as well (feel damn old) soon after that i saw the ball kicked into the air and hit down one of the roof fixtures..... can understand how they musta felt insulted by that kinda attitude that they showed...over-reaction and i believe that zai knew it immediately after kickin dat ball.....all i got to say is SIGH....its not the right thing to do and also a super bad example to show to them.... they are gettin cocky and this sorta thing does not help solve anything at all...

after the set was over i immediatly went to take a drink downstairs (keep forgetting to bring a waterbottle) came back to see rubin and kl quarreling.....freak even worse example to show....they were shouting and stuff.....saw them doin so.......freak man....... sadly if we want them to change their attitude....this aint hte way...... dint want to be any part of that quarrel so dint walk into the hall and took a seat outside and waited for them to settle the matter.... great this i believe is the worst kinda example we can show to our jnrs....

i shall state my stand on this matter.... the present batch of players are by no means the strongest team in terms of skills... alot of other batches are stronger (esp in attack) but i give it to them...they will fight to win...sumthing that most other batches do not...they haf gotten into the finals now and i am happy for them... dunno how they will fare against ny cos ny is really strong but least they got a chance.. they can definately be less cocky when dealin with snrs but i think snrs gotta look at themselves as well....we def are not behaving like we deserve respect... and i think that snrs should support the team nonetheless....... i guess we feel a sense of belongin because we were a part of tjcvbt and we want the team to haf the qualities that our batches possessed....and we wish to be respected as snr when we come back and help them out.....this year if the snrs did not come back to train they would not be in the finals cos they wouldnt haf any team to play with on a regular basis... constantly playin against gd opponents def helped them... and they should be respectful enough to understand this fact.......

on the last thing...the team has a dark house who seems to create some problems...so far it seems ok but in team sports a lone wolf causes more problems that if they do not solve...may rip the squad apart...they haf potential to become much better.. fung wun step in for this...i hope they can settle it themselves........sigh.....

in the end...best of luck to them for the finals....

rant

block

2005-04-26T22:28:00.000+08:00

no motivation to write recently.......... oh well here is hte next part aniwae...

Chap 1

The individual

The MRT is an efficient mode of transportation. It gets one from Point A to Point B with minimal fuss. It is this lack of fuss that makes telling stories about it very hard. Nothing really happens on the MRT worth mentioning. There are no stories of girls changing into costumes or Sarin gas being released on the MRT. No-one does anything on the MRT. It is a whole cauldron of repressed feelings; everyone is repressing their real feelings as they ride the MRT. No one wants someone else to sit next to them while on the MRT, that is why the side-seats are the most popular as there can only be one person sitting next to you. The people on the MRT shy away from human contact, viewing each other on the MRT with disdain and hope to just ignore the others as best as they can. They armour themselves with various MP3 players, newspapers and books. Some would rather slip off into dreamland in order to escape from the reality of the boredom of the MRT cabin. It seems like there are a multitude of invisible divisions that surround each person.

Many people travel on the MRT. In it they enter a world where they know no-one. They enter a world which is continually in transit. No one really wants to be on board the MRT, they only want to get to their destination. They just bear the indignation of having to suffer the *company* of strangers while they get to the place they want to go. Everyone springs up from their seat when they reach the place they want to go. They rush forward expectantly to the doors hoping to be the first to leave the grasp of the MRT and breath in non-recycled air. Yet at this point an unexpected phenomenon happens, the people outside the MRT seems to be so focused in getting into the MRT. They have already scouted out the cubicle they wish to occupy from outside the MRT and would be damned if they were to allow another person to occupy it before they get a chance to stake their claim to that particular spot. So there are two immovable forces attempting to force their way in or out of the MRT. This is the only interesting thing that happens on the MRT and it happens so often that it has just become a routine and does not add any excitement to the journey

The MRT is open to all to ride. It stops at all the stations for people to alight and go about their business. They do not wish to spend a single minute more on board the MRT. It is not a place which endears itself to those who ride it. It is but a means to the end. On a particular track there are MRT stations which do not open for anyone. The train whisks past the stations without every stopping and permitting only a brief view of the darkened alleyways and empty seats within them. It is on this particular track that we can find our individual.

From young this individual seemed to be separated from reality, he created world for himself to inhabit and retreated into them thru the long days alone at home. He was not remarkably intelligent yet would rank above many in that department. His parents would always wonder why this young boy would just lie on the floor and would not engage in other activities that little boys love to play. They wondered where he would go, what faiths he would embrace, whether he would fulfill the potential that he has displayed so far. They wondered and hoped the best for their son.

The son, the individual however, was lost. He knew that the worlds that he inhabited were not real, yet the world which he left behind seems to be just as visceral as the world he inhabits. The only difference is that in the world he left behind his eyes can see the items in it and his hands can feel the items that they grasp.

Simple. The world is very simple. That was what the individual thought. Apparently he was wrong, dead wrong. There are forces acting undercurrent to what you see. There are hands guiding the world which we cannot see and you must believe in them. The individual was confused by all of that, he wondered how what could not be seen can be more important than what he can feel. His heart was in conflict with his mind. His heart told him of wondrous worlds where he is not alone, where there are those who would care for him and guide him along the path that is life. Yet his mind would not allow his heart free will without some proof of the wondrous world, so his eyes were sent, dispatched to find some proof of the beauty which the heart whispered off. They searched his world, finding nothing to suggest anything of the beauty. He realized that when he was alone, no matter what world he retreated into, he was still alone. He began to see the truths of the world. Thus begins the journey of him, the individual.

The individual rides the MRT daily. He is one of the faceless multitudes of individuals who inhabit that transitional world of the brightly coloured cabins. The cheery colours contrast with the darkness that cloth the individual. In fact the cheery colours only serve to irritate the individual as they only serve to attempt to cover up the feelings of everyone riding on the MRT. He can feel the irritation of people he brushes against to get to a spot to stand in the MRT. They flinch from his contact and as he tries to ease himself into a seat he feels them shy away from his very touch. The individual feels like he is like the plague as everyone avoids him. He initially felt that it was something about him that made him repulsive to the others but his eyes revealed the truth behind the avoidance. He saw that every single person was setting up their invisible barriers between them and other fellow residents. He realizes that the MRT, despite it being just a transitional world, is pretty much like any other place in the world.

part 2/???

lets do it my fave subj again....

2005-04-26T03:18:00.000+08:00

yeah!! i think i am revitalized.........
haha a single line has brightened my day... oh well.... what else to do but to discuss my fave subj again!! evil...........

haha inspired by EP3.... well i guess that the subj of evil now would be more of how it can be cultivated..... well EP3 and monsTer i guess.... wouldnt it be wonderful if evil can be nurtured....cultivated...purified and harnessed to be used? can people be taught how to become evil? can they help the monster that exist within us escape form the bonds that we have binded it to?

for too long i haf been deafened by the cacophany of sounds within me that i could not hear the monster....my monster whispering to me..... mere wisps of sound which were drowned in the raging torrent that the rest of my body was listening to.....hahah...... y..... i should haf listened to the monster......there exists a monster in everybody.....mine has grown bigger from feedin off the feelings off my heart....it has steeled itself against such worthless and unappreciated feelings....it has been whispering to me that i should not care abt those who view me as less than human...that regard me as sub-par by not being a part of the clan....i now understand where hitler got hte inspiration for his aryan beliefs...it was being thought to him when he was young..and encouraged by everyone around him.... i realise that tryin to be something, an ideal will not be appreciated...that by putting other in front of myself i am naught but exposing the soft flesh above my heart for a black arrow to pierce it.... no matter how pure the feelings are they would go unaccepted for they are but the feelings of a pagan...unconsequential and worthless.....how can one be so stupid as to step off their high chair in order to recieve an offerin from the unwashed?

how can one from above sully their pure hands in order to recieve the meager offerings of those that grovel on the ground in anticipation of the day they will be dragged under it.....even if it is everything that the unwashed one can offer? even if the unwashed one gives his life...i believe that it will be nothing more than a foot-note (if at all) in the glorious route to the sky of those blessed by his love......

there is only 1 being that appreciates the feelings as they are...pure.....the monster within me.....it is feasting on all of the feelings...growing bigger and bigger.....it whispers into my ear the truth of those whose feet do not touch the ground... that if u look past them, they are but prey for those who pretend to fly.... pretend to join the ranks.....and ravage all when they get a chance..... purity of feeling is not a good thing in life...for it cannot transcend the invisible barriers between 2 people standing next to each other... and that those bathed in the light...are blind to its warmth........or rather cannot fathom the unwashed to be capable of it.....

the monster is the one who gave me my eyes.....told me not to trust my heart...for it would betray me.. and that it has...... it would be unwise to silence the heart so abruptly so the monster will allow it to place its last hand...... before shutting it up.....from dust to dust

look at me...the monster in me has grown so big....*munch munch*...*crush crush*......*snap snap*...*swallow*...*munch munch*...*crush crush*......*snap snap*...*swallow*

hmm in the end, well only monsTer...no EP3

new beginings

2005-04-25T03:03:00.000+08:00

alritey, its time to move on..... havent given up on some of the matters that i have been told to give up on.... i will still try to move the heavens and shift the mountains......... oh well but that is not really important now.... i have decided.......when i return from USA.... i will finally embark on the thing i haf been wanting to do for a damn long time...

KENDO....

playing with plastic swords and dreaming of being a samurai to be replaced by.......erm.....playin with wooden swords and dreaming of being a samurai.... well i may jest...but i am pretty serious abt it......it has always been my dream to learn the way of hte samurai...i devoured the novel on miyamoto musashi........admired his dedication to his craft...

aniwae this came abt from my discussion with ja....he did it b4 and i suddenly decided to ask him abt it....realised that my entire life has mostly been abt a single ball...and that is probably the only thing i really can play....... oh well....time to begin...time to start sumthing.....

i wish i could liken myself to caeser upon seeing a statue of alexander and commented to himself that he has not achieved anything nearing the greatness of Alexander despite being older than him... well i wish i could...but i cannot confirm the significance of the moment until much later.....haha

haha...the first in a while
a cheerful rant

chronicles of a daft prick (first dawn)

2005-04-20T16:47:00.000+08:00

here is the intro to my novel... havent decided the title of the novel and haf no idea how i can ever finish this averagin a page a day... so a gd size 300 page novel would be done.....damn long time more...in fact the intro is way too short...only a page...oh well...........

To put feelings into words

Lines

Introduction

When people are born, they are given different eyes. The may look the same albeit with different colours, yet they see the world in totally different shades. The world may look the same, yet thru these different eyes the world is so different. If the world was seen by aliens from above they would wonder how so many similar beings could be so differing. They would wonder how the lines on our maps come about when there are no such lines in space. They would wonder how people living side by side can be so far away. They would wonder and gasp when they realize the differences between people are so great even the do not detect any differences in our genes as they spliced through them in a grainy video. Beyond what is evident on the outside they do not detect any differences in our genetic make-up and seeing from the similarities in the world how can it be that people are so different? Is there a part of humanity that just loves to draw lines? Divide us into fractions? Was our ascent to dominance unable to change the innate nature of humanity to be jealous another’s achievements? Or perhaps in order to protect the brood, to maintain the purity of a certain bloodline, divisions were necessary in order to ensure that no tainted blood can enter and pollute its purity.

Lines are drawn all the time, from the on the football pitch to indicate where the limits of the playing field to on the map to show the boundaries between countries. Yet unlike the lines on any playing field, pitch or court which are visible the invisible lines seem to have a much greater hold on humanity. Although lives were lost over arguing Countless lives were lost and sacrificed to prevent those lines from changing. Humanity schemed for ages to plot out ways to shift those lines in their favour. Yet from space a puzzled alien would check the maps of the world and recheck from what they were seeing in the display of the world in front of their eyes and wonder where those lines came from. How can such invisible and by all means of inspection non-existent lines create such fervor in such a young and immature race?

To the alien’s surprise the humanity’s real fervor would come not from the squabbling over the lines but rather between families, friends and neighbours. They would break all bonds for their belief, genetic bonds and kinship are forgotten as they perform feats worthy of Alexander in removing all bonds. Yet in the removal of such bonds they in turn prevent themselves from bonded again to other things which are not on the path which they chose for themselves. They become enlightened and seem to ascend to a level higher than the rest. This is all very interesting to the alien as to it, there has been no changes made at all. The aliens find humanity interesting just because of these non-biological changes that we undergo.

To this alien who is watching over the world currently it has it eyes focused on a single individual who seems to be able to see the world as an alien sees it. As seen from above. It wonders how such an individual can operate in such an environment, where what the eyes sees seems to be less important that what the heart sees.

part 1/???

rant

imaginary friends

2005-04-14T22:14:00.000+08:00

revelations which have abandoned me for the last few months suddenly started flowing back into my mind..... like a lost lover i would embrace it back into my arms................once again they drift into my mind as it tethers on the edge of consciousness........ it is weird how that operates........am i truely in touch with the world only when i am leavin it? or is it that the illusions that mask the world are only stripped away as we enter another state on consiousness...........? seems to me that the latter is more apt.......

as we draw the shades upon the world it seems that the items that we considered to be solid take are actually so transparent..... we can see right thru them... at present moment everything that we hold dear or feel is important happened due to a series of event preceeding today...... if a single event was different everything could be changed...... some people cannot imagine the world being just that..... a series of chance events..... they believe that life needs a guiding hand in order to justify its existance..... how can it be that something so great was just due....CHANCE?? impossible.........no it isnt...unlikely...hard....but not impossible............must there be a guiding hand to push us, punish us and love us in order for things to happen? it would be comforting to believe so......like how its more comforting to be constantly loved and watched over.........

we are like little kids in terms of our growth..........there were debates that human evolution was too fast..........that we needed to be asisted by aliens in order to account for our leaps forward........ i disagree....humanity is still in a childlike state...... we havent grown much since our ascent to the world.........

think abt it...... humanity picks fights with each other over problems resembling my pri sch days when *he poke me first* was suffice as a declaration of war........basically human society is still in pri sch....with a few blokes tryin to run for class president.....

yet this is not the inspiring thought that gave rise to this series of words..... i realised that humanity haf kept our imaginary friends up to this day........... we all used to have imaginary friends.... they would play with us........ teach us stuff.......inspire us.....watch over us...shepard us......whenever we are down they will pick us up....they are always there!! they were the bestest thing a young child could ever have......... wish i had one of those..............yet as we grow older they seem to disapper and charlie, may andrew, kok boon and all these imaginary frens seem to disappear as we reach adulthood.......... not so........ i realised that they all go to the same place.... they are conglomerated into one full entity and becomes a imaginary friend for everyone!! wow now everyone can share one super imaginary friend....he does all of hte abv....has a damn popular son and speaks to everyone at the same time!! woah!!!

humanity as a whole is still in a child-like stage.......we just got bigger toys............and we just got a bigger imaginary friend.......... BFF *best friends forever*

has humanity progressed too quickly? nope.....we seem to be growin just rite!!

another thing to remember

2005-04-14T19:45:00.000+08:00

movie idea *dun steal*

actually slightly stolen from gaiman's neverwhere but nvm...............

ne line empty stations
wat goes on in the empty stations, why do the trains never stop there........"? is there a whole another world inside?

guy.... drapped in dark colours........ takes the train home everyday passing by the stations.... always wondering whats in them,

meets a ger, bathed in light
too bright..... blindingly bright

how can it be that the dark would love the light? wouldnt it destroy him? wouldnt it blind him, scar him and leave him totally broken to be rebuilt..........

yet all he wishes is to embrace the light.....
the stupidity of the situation.....

chained to the seat as the train stops at an empty station, watches her move to leave at that stop
watches other who eminate light get up from their seats. yet he is still chained to his seat..... as the door closes he realises that he was holdin the chains down himself......

gets off the train.....tries to back-track and get back to the empty station
seems an eternity away

when he reached the station he was stuck by teh beauty of the place and sadden by the fact that his eyes were noticing only the flaws he sees in the station..... he is banned from entering that area as he is unwashed.....unclean....unworthy........lesser than the luminous beings.... for he is but from hte dark....his eyes tears from starin at the light.......... his sees thru the walls they haf set up and walks rite thru them in search of her............
he moves closer and closer to the source of the light.......... as he gets closer he forces back tears as the light sears thru the darkness he has clothed himself in..........
one by one the light burns off the layers of clothing and his eyes tears in pain from teh light yet refuses to close them in order to look for the one whom he wishes to embrace........

he moves for an eternity in that station........... suddenly he caught a sight of her..... she looked shocked and moved away from him......who wouldnt when faced with a dark being burning and his dark eyes tearin..... she moved away from him in fear......
he reaches his hand out to try to keep her from moving too far
he follows her as she attempts to flee
every step hurts as he takes it but takes them nonetheless
eventually the ger stops as she realised that he did not mean her any harm
relieved he moved forward to embrace her
however a single step away from her he suddenly lost sight of her.......... she did not disappear or run from him.....he had become blind........his dark eyes seared
the sight which he so treasured was taken from him......... he dropped to his knees.....conscious of teh fact that all his dark layers had burned off and he was no longer in the dark............
he wasnt one of the luminous beings but he was no longer dark
lookin into himself he realised.... he did not know who he was no longer............

hmm sad movie
writing the novel for it now
haha.....boredom and sadness makes for gd ranting!

in case i forget

2005-04-11T18:38:00.000+08:00

no time to type..... only time to make a short note

imaginary friends haf we out grown them as a race or just given them different names??
jc.......

pain and suffering

2005-04-09T16:45:00.000+08:00

marc has always wondered y someone would willingly suffer from pain...... there is no logical reason y someone would subject oneself to pain and walk a path that seems to have no possible positive outcome...... how can it even be possible that a reasonable person would take such a path and allow oneself to undergo such confusion and pain.......... well marc seems to be findin it out............

under no direction from marc, his long dormant muscles has suddenly started to beat under his left rib-cage...... beneath that mesh of sinew and bone it has suddenly started workin again after marc had given it up as lost, like a rebel it always was to his entire system it seems to be goin in a direction opposite from what his other dominant muscle in my cranium has set the whole body on. it doesnt seem fair to cede control of the body's system to this late-surgin muscle esp since his cranium resident has been gd work in setting the direction for the last few years..... pushin aside all these concerns and to the utter dismay of my cranium muscle and marc, the left sided muscle has been able to make up for its late start and push itself to the front of the pack......

this is something that does not appear in any of the contigency manuals that his cranium muscle has prepared in case of such power struggles.... they all are useless when determining how best to deal with this developement.......... *surrender, give in, let me free,lo....v.............* the betrayer muscle of marc whispers thru him urgin him to give up this needless stuggle and walk hand-in-hand with it..................... possibly to further pain.............

well marc cannot attribute that muscle's victory solely to internal political mechanics, there was a 2-worded external element which woke the left chest muscle from its slumber and created the havoc within........ the best thing abt the external element is that it seems oblivious to the impending victory of the left chest muscle in marc..... despite the best efforts of the left chest muscle to convey victory signs responses from the external element haf been either of utter ignorance or freezing cold.... relegated to just a passing unnamed mention in the annals of the 2-worded external influence (in retrospect perhaps that is too harsh for the external element goes un-named as well in here) (but that is just something that the ousted power in marc, the cranium muscle came up with and is amazingly still able to get to the surface)

the left chest muscle seems to be leadin the entire system to much pain and suffering, and refuses to let go of marc's system until it can finally communicate its victory to the external element...... yet reports from his cranium muscle state that the external element is unlikely to acknowledge the victory and make the entire battle/war for naught.......reports seem to show that the best efforts of the left chest muscle to communictate its victory have been rather badly aimed and other external elements are more aware of the situation than the intended target.....

sigh........... in a truce to end the hostilities between the 2 warring muscles, they have come together and decided to resort to a single attempt to communicate with the external element.... marc hopes that the external party would accept the efforts of the left chest muscle and give a reason to all warring that has gone on so far within marc.... to make it seem all worthwhile and allow the left chest muscle to finally haf a target to exercise the function it was born to perform... to give some meaning to all the wounds and to heal them.............

the alternative would be that the external element would side with marc's cranuim muscle and stab the left chest muscle with an icicle piercing right thru it and thus condeming it back into a deep slumber......... this would cause alot of pain in the system as the screams of left chest muscle revebrate thru the system as it falls unwillingly back into slumber...... from there marc's cranium muscle would shake hands with the external element for its cool dispatch of the insurgent muscle and work towards curing the wounds in a wash of drinks and smoke...........

watever the case..... there must be an end to this senseless war......... the left chest muscle refuses to go away silently into the night, it rather risk all on hte hope of victory now that it is in ascendent, rather than slowly haf its influence chipped away by the cranium muscle while the whole system is transported over oceans away from the external element...... rather bet it all on a hope than to see itself overcome slowly by the cranium muscle over the weeks........marc just hopes for a conclusion to the mystery................

ps...
if you are the external element and u r reading this....pls dun look left and right wondering who the external element is....it is u..... i dun believe that you can be so oblivious to the truth.......the left chest muscle wishes to inform you that it is not sure why you managed to awaken it, but u are wonderful in your own way............. despite all the signs it still chose you to awaken it, marc cannot understand y as well..... but is powerless to control it.......

rant....corresponding from within...

OMG

2005-03-31T01:52:00.000+08:00

ok i just read my S3's blog..... sad to say....HE IS MORE HAPPENING THAN ME!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!! does all the shit he wants to do... goes to work late....he is a changed man...CHANGED...as evidenced by all the CAPITAL letters i am using.....its a pretty MAJOR change...

god havent had anithing to write abt in damn long...den suddenly bongs drops this bombshell on me....haha at arnd 1am..... got QM to do but who cares.... I AM READING MY S3!! BLOG!!!

he is doin salsa, honestly never figured him for one to do dance, honestly 1 tot i onli had damn few guy frens who are interested in dance,....and he was under the category of being in hte category as far away from SALSA dancer as possible in my mind....... cant imagine..... honestly if he ever perfoms or stuff i definatly have to go see....

diving... well i heard abt that from neo.... but generally my impression of him is one of a guy who is stern.....military based....hard-working....dedicate his life to his job.....dat kinda shit....dark and brooding...

i am....

2005-03-18T23:10:00.000+08:00

older and better?

2005-02-21T00:51:00.000+08:00

accordin to newspapers...a premiership player will only reach his peak at arnd 27-28...... well according to this i should be still developing and getting better and improving all the time... but why does my body ache so much? need to train.... i dun want to go the way of jermaine pennant.. haha..

oh well ... this can possibly be attributed to the lack of control i have on mi diet..and absolute lack of exercise.... basically the only exercise i get is movin mi mouse left right up down right click in dota....and watchin downloaded stuff...normally with some sort of snacks resting on my ever growin belly... 5 more years and i wun be able to see past my belly and will need a bigger pillow to raise my head higher so i can see the screen....haiz....

as i keep dreams of six-pacs while chowing down on *ben and jerry's* "evil stuff....part of america's plot to make everyone as fat as they are" the dreams will be as they always are....dreams.....

we are fighting DREAMERS!!
rant

my vball sucks....

2005-01-30T22:52:00.000+08:00

sigh...every week when i go play vball i realise that i have been standing still... i am still at the same old lousy standard..... every week i go play i see my frens who have improved greatly...while i am still making noobish mistakes....sigh... esp zai....i am very impressed by the way he has improved... he aint the same player i remember...he has changed almost completely... i am pretty impressed by the way he is playin now... everyone playin has improved so much and i stil find myself makin the same mistakes that i did in jc.... shitty play shitty play....DAMN LOUSY SHITTY PLAY>>> NOT IMPROVING AT ALL!!!!! i like to attribute it to the fact that thye have been consistently playin even during army.... and that they are all playin together in a strong team...but i feel that i should be improvin myself .... i know what needs to be done... i understand how to play...but my body aint movin in the right way.... as emphasized by the way i tried to duck out of the way of melvyn's spike...(although it is really a fearsome hit)... I SUCK!!

well it ends here... i am goin to improve myself... physically and technically...my technique needs alot of work... game sense...spikin consistency...i need to improve my timing for many of the various plays....man i suck realli bad...

so many things to improve....damn...

2005-01-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

crossroads of life...

2005-01-24T22:42:00.000+08:00

well this is a plug for a movie that hopefully is worth watching....constantine based on a comic book by vertigo comics...my fave line...anyway i hope they do a good job with this...dun disappoint me...

2005-01-24T22:38:00.001+08:00

shadows reveal all the inner demons we posses....

2005-01-24T22:38:00.000+08:00

pagan....

getting old...

2005-01-22T21:53:00.000+08:00

sigh... the day u watch tv and u realise that you are watchin a buncha ppl who are younger than you......and you are not watchin kids central ...and the hot-new prospects you find in cm are way way younger than u are...with this you start to think...what have i done with my life?? the world number 1 in the world for tennis is just a couple of years older while the female winner of the last wimbledon is way younger...(well way hotter as well) , a bulldog by the name of wayne played in euro 2004 at the same age when i was doin my A's....(earnin shitloads more as well) and in cleveland a new king is testing out his crown and showin the world that he deserves the acolades that felled a million trees.... at the same time i have...erm....give me a minute......hmm................i have.............. ehh....well...i...........shit...cant think of anything....

so what have i done with my life so far...nothing really much....what am i goin to achieve...well nothing realli much... in the end i dun think my life will be featured in time, newsweek not even in reader's digest... so as i walk each step in destiny's garden more roads are closed to me with each step..at the beginin of everyone's life they are open to infinite possibilities we can be anything...well with every day that passes another road is closed to us...we walked by it without taking that route....sometimes without even tryin it....without even considerin it we are closing paths to us....which each second we take to choose to do sumthing we close the possibility of doin sumthing else....well i am kinda regreting all the time i spent stoning...well at least just 4 a while b4 i start stoning again...

the reason why children are called the hope of the future is because they can be molded into so many things.... the same reason why stem-cells were so much in demand....teenagers are confused..but need to be guided into the right paths so that they can become somebody....whereas no one gives a fuck abt ppl arnd my age....u shldnt haf wasted ur live boy....wat haf u done with your life?? people are supportin families and u still like that?? tsk tsk......sigh..another wasted child....screw it..fuck it....

well that is life...if u wanna find me...i will most likely be sleepin...spendin my life....rather wastin my life the way i choose...

ranting ova!!

direction...

2005-01-21T01:19:00.000+08:00

gettin old... each day that goes by is another where i step closer to the day where i get another digit added to my age.... so i guess its time to review what i wished to do and what i have done....

1) Become a superstar..................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA boy dats a trip...
2) Learn how to either skateboard or do stunts with a BMX (aka destroy ma own body)...
- i will put this down to half-done....as in the destroy ma own body part with anyhow eatin....or lack of eating and general lack of activity
3) Learn something cool... i dunno wat just something cool........ guitar or shit perhaps
- lack of activity and drive sort of made that an impossibility....well self-imposed impossibilty...
4) write a comic book....
- hmm still wanna...but its goin to take muucho lotso time...to even get started....
5) write a book
- i wrote a buncha shit dun realli count that as anything...need to get some of my own ideas....pluck them out of my head and start to turn them into something.... (sadly most of the stuff in my head are dominated by stuff i saw in movies and comics... so doesnt realli count as original..oh well the singapore curse)
6) READ MORE BOOKS!! from authors whom i can say to haf read and the other ppl would go WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? and i can go on act all high and mighty and stuff....
- tried many books from penguin classics...result..? lotsa books left in my cupboard unread beyond the first chapter...books like war and peace...ooh bad...crime and punishment...BAD BAD BAD..could never understand how greg described it as a fascinating read...i used that book to put me to sleep nowadays since the doctors cant prescribe sleepin pills no more...haha....
7) 6-pec....HAHA
- well....i...erm...neh....neva close...got a keg instead of that...
8) eh cant think of another point but its gd luck to have 8...haha...boredpricks never propers.....

oh yeah got this cd from BONGS....love the design...ripped the songs to my lappie...now just need to listen to them....well that will take a while.....sigh.....

rant....

lack of guidance...

2005-01-17T20:01:00.000+08:00

is it possible that the reason behind the advant of modern thinkin would be because of the lack of parental guidance... there is no w less and less influence that is being forced upon young children at a young age.... i for one am pleased that my parents did not bring me to church when i was young and i did not turn out to be a member of the god-fearin masses.... well i think that i came out ok...even though my views of the world is pretty bleak... well better to see the bleak world rather than be blind and believe it to be beautiful.....hmm...... anyway people nowadays are growin up exposed to external influences (i.e. TV) rather than the good wholesome values that are taught to us by our parents...

since the beginin parents have been teaching their children the ways of the world....they taught them abt life..religion....the helped them as they took their first steps out...fathers taught their sons swordplay...mothers taught their daughters how to cook....
nowadays fathers strap the first sticks of dynamite on their sons while the mother puts on the jacket to cover them...well in some parts of the world...in other parts of the world....in most of others they just plunk them in front of the tv.....well

the moment....

2005-01-01T17:56:00.000+08:00

no this is not a plug for a stef sun album... it is simply my way of reasoning out the chaos in the world... i believe that nothing is more important than the moment that you expierence something.... the happiest day of ur life last for exactly that moment... the memories of that day are nothing but mere tendrils which do not mean much in the long run... for some reason the memories that we have most often are the bad memories.. when something happens to you everything that happens is all encapsulated in that moment...nothing else really matters because what you do at that point is important...make a mistake live with it.... do it correctly enjoy the benefits... there is nothing more to it... we do not have an inbuilt save and load system.... we do not have the luxury of repeating the moment over and over again in hopes of findin hte best way to solve the problems.....our own groundhog day.... however we love to constantly go over the event of a day past in our minds... keep repeating it at expense of the present...what does that achieve? nothing at all.... we harp on hte past...try to live in it.... when we shld be breathin in hte fresh air...enjoyin the moment cos the next we could be in a way of a 5.56 round.... unfortunately in the path of a 10m tsunami... and when it happens there is no need to think back and go "shit i shldnt have......" ... y do u not need to say that???

simple...cos u dead.....and aint nothing goin to change that.....
rant

new year....

2005-01-01T01:51:00.000+08:00

what is all the hoohah abt a new year?? it is after all just an arbitrary date decided to be the first day where ppl start to take down their old calenders and replace them with sparkling new ones with a new set of bikini babes on them... students who go to sch will expend a little of their precious sparkinlingly new liquid paper when they realise that they have written the wrong year on their first assignment which they are secretly cursing their teacher for givin home-work on the first day...its also the day when hordes of students realise that they havent touched any of their holiday homework and get abt rushing to beat the clock, prayin that it snows or sumthing on the first day of sch and they wouldnt haf to go.... to me now 21 goin on 22?? wat those the new year bring...? questions on why i shld be so happy when everyone arnd me goes 10....9....8....7....6....5...4....3.....yawn....2.....YAWN....1....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! yeah yeah.... can we go now.... went for a couple of countdowns at suntec...man that realli sucks....thousands of ppl..nothing to do..just a buncha ppl duped by the ad saying that it would be the GREATEST COUNTDOWN party ever!!! faked by the pictures of happening people actualli with some space to dance...amazing....wonder where the place they are talkin about...it sure aint where i was...

aniwae 2 years ago mi and mi frens decided to have one of the best new year's day celebration... watching gangs of new york at lido past midnight...when it hit midnight mi and mi frens had a lil celebration with the lil pop-corn we had left and set off our own improvised pop-corn fireworks to much irritation to the ppl tryin to watch the show behind us....(esp when most of our air-borne ballistics landed on them) thankfully we finished out drinks earlier and could not proceed with our rendition of the musical fountain at sentosa... when i emerged from the theater 3 hrs later i realised why orchard is a bad place to go for nye...the entire place is practically crawlin with banglas lookin 4 drunk chicks for a cheap bang... well a cheaper bang than the ones they get from the secret brothels in various bushes and shrubbery around the island... there were onli 2 kinds of ppl along orchard road at 0200.... banglas keepin an eye out 4 drunk chicks and police tryin to keep an eye out 4 banglas....

last year i was guardin the nation in camp while the seconds counted down and entered by seeing all the ships that were anchored around singapore let off a single red flare into the night sky...actually quite a beautiful sight...the cutest thing was that at exactly 0100 i saw the ships anchored near indonesia let off a single red flare as well... first time i celebrated new-year's day twice... hmm who was there with me...hmm seetoh...loke...leon...gene...lum....max...i think i missed a couple..shit cant rem aniwae it wasnt as bad as i tot it would be...once again the avaliabilty of breathing room is a definate plus...

so this year i decided to do something i havent done in a long time...stay at home and welcome the new year by watchin a buncha anime which i havent been watchin cos of mi yep trip to china...once again i cannot stress how much i enjoy the breathing space and not havin 500 ppl grope my ass and grind their private parts against my leg as they brush...rather crash/crush past.... had a nice jap dinner although i am feelin hungry now and will proceed to cook noodles just as soon as i finish this up...

aniwae i haf digress from the main point...wats up with nye?? i believe that it is just a ploy by various alchoholic drink companies to pitch their own products to the un-suspecting masses... that is also the reason why jan 1st is a public holiday...to let ppl get over their hang-overs... basically i feel that most holidays that involve throwin a party with various alchoholic drinks is just a plot by the drinks companies...bastards....

so well seeing as to how i dun carry any liquid paper or cute rollers with correction tape i had betta remember that it is 2005 instead of 2004 when i write down the date on the first assignment which i will grudgingly receive from mi prof or else there is goin to be a very ugly cancellation to start the year....

rant over....

cctv

2004-12-30T19:04:00.000+08:00

in hte news there is all the stuff abt security of hte homeland.. on how we need more cctv in schs, public place, public toilets and various hotel rooms across the country....the simple thing about all these cctv is that for every 5-10 cameras there needs to be someone watchin it all hte time...
24 hrs arnd the clock...since that is impossible there would need to be at least 3 ppl running 3 shifts...multiply that by the amt of cctv they are plannin to place across the island and what do we arrive at.....??
A FRIGGIN LOT OF PPL DOIN NOTHING EXCEPT WATCH CCTV FEEDS!!!!
imagine that a whole new profession...CCTV watcher...wow!! imagine the line of promotion... junior cctv watcher...senior cctv watcher...executive cctv watcher and finally blind prick....(blind from years of starin at cctv)

aniwae rantin over...

big bums....

2004-11-25T20:04:00.000+08:00

apparently after reading this article from the newpapers that humans were designed to run/jog rather than walk....this is evidence by our rear ends....to be specific our large LARGE rear ends..... this is due to evolution...humans have large rear ends so as to act as a counter-weight when we are running forward and at the same time leaning our bodies forward to gain momentum.....

wow...i am amazed....totally amazed that there are people out there who spend thousands of dollars and countless hours to come up with that theory when the answer is right before our eyes.....erm well kinda out of sight for us being all the way at the other side of our body.....aniwae the most obvious reason y our butts are so big is because that humans were made for......................................
...................
................
................
.................
...............
..............
SITTING!!!
Lets examine the evidence....sitting causes our asses to inflate to enormous proportions..... where as running instead shrinks them....also another case....over-eating is another activity that balloons the ass up to enormous proportions.....well in truth when humanity was gifted our considerable rear end it was to provide us with portable cushions, so that wherever we go we would have a nice and comfortable seat........

well everyone look at ur rear and admire the work put into it......so the next time u see me starin at someonee's rear end...its realli just to admire the work of evolution.....
rant

america's love of the boys in blue

2004-11-21T05:21:00.000+08:00

came across this site...police buster
only thing to say in OMFG....i guess when NWA was rappin abt cops they werent kiddin....
now onli if i could find out what C.R.A.S.H means...

rant

2004-11-20T02:22:00.000+08:00

FACT : white trash marines with M4s and unarmed iraqis dun always settle their differences..erm...amicably...

2004-11-20T02:17:00.000+08:00

oh christmas tree oh christmas tree!!

2004-11-20T02:15:00.000+08:00

what is the most amazing thing abt this pic?? the bastard who just walked up and placed the stick in his mouth...he must haf been thinking..."whew i tot i was screwed when i lost my lighter!!"

thought that filtered back..for once

2004-11-20T01:02:00.000+08:00

i was watchin the telly when a thought actually filtered back into my mine...i was watch ROTK realising that if there were no subtitles in the show i wouldnt understand what they were saying at home...they were all speakin in archaric chinese...cheem cheem stuff... it got mi thinkin that wat we normally practice now is abt 10% of what they used to have....we have dumbed down language so much that it is almost unidentifiable from its origins... what is the reason for all this dumbin down??

simply put humanity has defied the laws of nature....the one and only law of nature has been broken by humans.....survival of the fittest....it would suggest that only the strongest and the smartest would survive....sort of like an qualifying mark we would haf to meet before we can even embark on the journey called life.....the only society which activily practised this would be the spartans...who sent their young boys out into the wild to see who would survive....meet the qualifying mark.....well in present society among the priveledged that would be inhumane...for those who live in the slums....well thats life....if u dun like it the way out is normally is found is 5 grams of white powder.....

presently society is created with the assumption that everyone is equal....BULLSHIT... everyone is not born equal...some are taller...some are faster...some are smarter...some bastards are way WAY WAY smarter....some poor bastards are dumber...some poor ones are born retarded and so on....facts of life...i am not insensitive....its just the facts..200 hundreds years ago a retarded child would be mourned...den tossed out to sea...and striked from the family records...the same way farmers do the runts of the litter...(charlotte's web is in the end just a story)

well 100 years of this has caused the followin problems...over-population...dumbin down of society...classic writers used the english language in ways that are unfanthomable by present standards and increasingly incomprehensible....as i mentioned before asimov was re-interpreted by will smith minus the hip-hop video and the bikini gers....re-interpreted/dumbed down for a general audience.... i seem all high and mighty with delusions of graduer....talking abt the masses as uncouth and unwashed...but i know my position...i met people whom i have absolutly no chance of matchin....to quote and translate zhou yu...i am but a mere firefly lighting up the nite sky to them like the moon....cant soar high with my wings of wax.....

aniwae i just wonder...as the world cuddle the weak in her bossom....what happens to the strong?? are they still soarin above in the sky?? i try to look up but the sun is too bright and i cant see anithing....are they seated in castles discussin the fate in the world over tea?? are there realli masonary societies that control the world....with their symbols emblazed over all the ancient cities....or do the jews really control america?? where have the strong gone?? has it become like alex ross' kingdom come with supes back in his fortress of solitude...GL in space and bats retreating into gotham....or have they all gathered together and decided to pull the strings from behinds the curtains...?? honestly...i dun give a fuck....haha....

well if the world continues on its present path...i can sorta understand where planet of the apes come from.....

RANT RANT...should be studyin but instead RANTING!!

gettin high......

2004-11-14T20:31:00.000+08:00

there has been a whole history of humanity tryin to escape beyond it's senses boundaries and attempt to understand the cosmos from the eyes of gods...simply put they were tryin to get high!! every culture has some form of spiritual ceremony where the high priest would attempt to communicate with the gods by inhaling the sacred smoke of the sacred bush planted in the well...sacred plot of land in the place of worship....nowadays more widely known as lighting up a joint and taking a drag...... the insights gained by these moments of heightened sensory perceptions would be used to provide direction to the culture.....so basically humanity was ruled by peoplw who were perpetually high....as oppoesed to perpetually stupid.....

in fact prior to the acension of christianity the roman army gave out marijauna to its troops in order to boost their morale.. whereas christians decided to skip ganja and instead go for wine....so every time the priest rounds of the whole congregation to partake of the blood of christ is actually a clarion call for all those who wanna get high....aniwae imagine what it would be like if the god-fearing masses lost....in every brown pack given out by the SAF there would be 3 green packs (2 meals 1 dessert), a fruit bar, a few satchels of assorted drinks and some marijuana rolled into a joint all dutifully prepared by the wonderful people at Singapore Food Industries.... well if they gave that out in the army...well alot of people who have signed on and dedicated their lives to...erm....defending our country....cheap booze and free weed?? woah......as it is the SAF is the only organisation which tries to keep its members mildly intoxicated in order to secure their loyalty....

aniwae apparently alot of writer and poets require ever increasing amounts of alcohol in order to derive *divine* inspiration for them to continue their work....well i have an unopened bottle of chivas regal sittin in mi cabinet... perhaps when mi exams are over i will take it out and test out this assumption...although i kinda fear more of vomiting all over mi laptop and then passin out in my own vomit... but i really wonder how is it possible that such stuff would be possible....is it really possible for one to take leave of one's body and enter another realm?? is sobriety such an evil thing?? can we ever be totally satisfied with what we have right now?? i do not think so...it is the reason y humanity has progressed forward.... so as we live we are constantly searching for more ways to expierence things that we never expierenced before...we even gave them cute names like ectasy...crack....and extreme sports.....

well till the next rant....cheers!!

evil....again...

2004-11-13T14:57:00.000+08:00

can a person be totally evil....is it possible for a person to become so steeped in the dark side that he can never look back? is it possible? in the first case for this to happen the person must begin from a point where he is good...or perhaps simply a lack of evil.... if it begins from this is it possible that there is still some semblance..some memory of good in the person...so for all the evil in him there exsists a portion of good....there was good still left in darth vader at the time of his death..haha....

but is vader the epitome of evil?? he who is seduced by the power of the dark side.... seduced by evil....was he totally evil? i believe not..... i believe a person can be totally evil, but there are a few requirements....firstly he must be extremely intelligent to understand that the world is held together by invisible strings that can be cut at will...that all of what is important to humanity is probably nothing more than just residual memories being pushed down to each incoming generation.... (how parents mold their children in their image and pass their beliefs into them...) if everything was to begin again will there once again be the same gods?? i do not think so... so the person who is totally evil must be armed with this...he will then realise that nothing in the world is beyond him to change.....

he who is totally evil will be able to see all the routes in destiny's garden as they are laid out in front of him and choose to take the paths not seen by others.... to walk the invisible paths ... to forage the roads that others never considered, never saw..let me give this totally evil person another name...a visionary...a person who will consider all possible routes....and choose impartially....

evilness exsists in the world... it has been identified by those who cling to old beliefs.... demonized and banished to the darkest reaches of hell.....after all the devil was once the light-bringer...

rant...end.....

sport bonding

2004-10-17T01:42:00.000+08:00

i used to find the claims by FIFA that football can unite the world to be a little pretentious. well until today.... today i met up wif a couple of frens whom i havent seen in damn long.... havent seen each other for something like 2 years.... yet once we started playin vball it seems like it was just yesterday....haha for once this aint a rant..... for some reason i played better today than i have in very long....maybe its the return to my vball spiritual home of tj...i dunno.... well from what i have seen most of my frens have improved alot...i think that i too have improved but not as much as they have...actually for the last few weeks i been wanting to play vball so today i got my fill...yay..now lets see if i can play like dat for smu.....

expierence end....

the endless

2004-10-13T23:42:00.000+08:00

bored...although there is quite alot of work decided to waste some time doin some writing...some ideas which i got in my head after reading endless nights......

Stories for the eldest sister of the endless

What will happen if a normal man was given the gift of immortality?? (like hob gadling)

· Will he start to crave death? He has everything he wants, yet human desire is infinite. He has everything save one….death…will he start to crave it??

· Is there a limit to how much a human brain can store?? A normal human will never fill it up. Yet what about an immortal? What if he reaches his limit and realized that he cannot store anymore?

o He writes everything down as he is afraid of forgetting. Pictures of everything. (a la momento) It is a happy system. He can safely forget some of his memories so that he can remember more. One day he moves into a new house and at the top of the house in an attic he finds a portrait of himself. Yet he cannot remember anything about it. He searches through all his notes and realizes how much how much he has forgotten. (a la planescape torment). He comes to the realization that he is not the person he thought he was. He rotated from evil to good back to evil again. He comes to the realization that his past does not mean anything to him. He could have been reading the life of someone else. He wonders why he bothers keeping his past kept in boxes so he burns it all up. After burning it all up in a oil-drum he walks out into the street to be hit by a car. He suffers from amnesia. The only thing he can remember is the image of his self-portrait in the attic.

o One day when he after the wake of one of his friends, he walks past the graves…passing them one by one…when he realizes that one of them was his own. It was his name and was dated 100 years ago. He frantically searches through his journals, dated 100 years ago there was an entry on how he died. He as he touches the parchment the memories rush back into his head. His sees what transpired 100 years ago. He can remember himself dying…he can remember the exact moment when he felt death’s cold touch on him… yet he is sure that he is still alive. So the question here is how does one define life?? Through blood rushing in his veins?? Through each thump of his immortal heart? He has died….yet he still lives…has death forsaken him?? He cannot remember what he did……..so each day from there on he does everything to assure himself that he is still alive. In the end he goes and search for the wisest man in the world. He searches all the temples, universities seeking for someone who is wise enough to enlighten him. He goes all around the world searching, yet for each one he finds he comes to a sad realization. He is the wisest man in the world and he himself does not have the answer. (a la the joke about the clown) He has lived long enough to be around at the infancy of all religions and knows how baseless they all are. If anything he was there at the crucifixion and knew various “deities” personally. So he cannot look at religions or gods to provide him any answers. In the end he drifts back to his grave. In a rage he digs up his grave to see what is inside….as he opens the coffin…… he is greeted by a startling image. He sees himself looking straight back at him. The only things in his grave are a mirror and a note. “The only thing that is real is nothing”

· He never wanted to be immortal. To him immortality is a curse. He buried his wife, his children and his grand-children. The world he loved has turned into nothing more but ruins. He clings to the ruins for millennia until he finally decides to leave. He enters a city looking for human contact. The first person he meets in the city is a young man. 25 years old and in love… in his left hand is a case of a wedding ring. He was mugged and shot just because he wanted to keep the ring. The ring which the love of his life wanted so that he could propose to her. Now he is shot and bleeding….dying….yet the only thing he wants is to live. (meeting of 2 opposites)

“Give it up…there is nothing worth living for in life….life is just like a road which goes only one way. Nothing is forever… the sweet kiss of death is a blessing because u spend less time regretting. “

hehe...rant

el che....

2004-09-29T01:45:00.000+08:00

I don't know where the trend began…I'm not sure how it started. But over the past several years, I've been seeing deceased revolutionary Che Guevara's face everywhere. On t-shirts and wallets, in advertisements for beer, even painted on a certain guitarist's amplifiers.

If one walks through any bar of the trendy New York City neighborhood of Williamsburg, you are bound to hear some hipster, sporting the Guevara t-shirt, pronouncing his respect for the revolutionary's fight against American capitalism in Latin America.

All I can think is what a buffoon.

What's funny is that the myth surrounding Guevara has become so bloated and removed from the truth, that very ignorant and stupid people have taken him as their revolutionary icon. If we were living in Cuba, Mexico, or even Bolivia, where Guevara actually conducted revolutionary activities, I could understand the many statues and murals dedicated to him (although the iconic use of Guevara's image was actually started by Castro who wanted to use the Che myth to build solidarity).

But a young college student, having their tuition paid by mom and dad, strolling about the East Village in a Che T-shirt they purchased at a record shop is about as antirevolutionary as one could get. Guevara had a complete disregard for material things and here he is being immortalized on products for public consumption. After being offered money to speak at Havana University in 1964, Guevara chastised the institution, stating, "It is inconceivable to me that a monetary payment should be offered to an official of the Government and the (Communist) Party, for any work of whatever kind it may be. Among the many payments that I have received, the most important is to be considered a part of the Cuban people; I would not know how to gauge that in dollars and cents." Buying a Che Guevara t-shirt is participating in the capitalism Guevara himself despised.

What also makes this immortalizing of Guevara by American dolts so hilarious is that most know very little of the man's history or accomplishments. A few ambitious ones may have read his diaries or Guerilla Warfare, since they have been published in English, but those are hardly historical studies.

He was admirable in his perseverance in the face of insurmountable odds and his undying dedication to his beliefs. Between the asthma he suffered from all his life, the betrayals by allies, his inability to make the Cuban revolution work, and the dismal conditions he often had to live in, it is surprising Guevara stuck to his revolutionary ways. Many lesser men would have bowed out and sought something else to occupy their time.

However, in spite of his dedication, his record as a revolutionary is dismal at best. The campaigns in Africa and Bolivia (which would lead to his assassination in 1967) were utter disasters. He quickly wore out his welcome with the Castro regime shortly after the Cuban revolution for being a strict Stalinist and then, upon a trip to Russia where he discovered how dismal the Soviet Union had become under communist rule, switching his ideals to Chinese Stalinism. While Castro wanted to fix the Cuban economy, Guevara was more interested in waging war against US control in Latin America. Frustrated, Guevara left to assist the Congolese Liberation Army. It was a horrible failure with most of Guevara's band of revolutionaries being killed in the operation. From there, Guevara went to organize a revolution in Bolivia where he failed at raising any support from both the working class and peasant class citizens. Not even the local communist party supported him. With the help of the CIA, the Bolivian Army surrounded Guevara in the Andean foothills and executed him.

Equally disturbing about the Che-worship cult is the complete whitewashing of his more foul deeds (if his trendier fans are aware of them at all). In organizing the July 26 Movement with Castro, Guevara was in charge of the revolutionary troops. He had standing orders that all informants and deserters should be shot and even carried out the first execution himself, declaring, "I ended the problem giving him a shot with a .32 pistol in the right side of the brain." The trail of bodies Guevara left through the Sierra Maestra has been well documented by many biographers; most of the victims of course were his own men. In addition, his own arrogance, in believing that revolutionaries didn't need political nor social roots, led to the death of many men in both the Congo and Bolivia. Guevara failed to understand the local terrain, politics, and motivations, thus suffering heavy casualties because of his ignorance.

So what do well-educated, white, twenty-something's have in common with Che Guevara, the Cuban Revolution, and guerilla warfare. Not a damn thing, so take off the shirt you dolt.

haha... the world seems so funny doesnt it... el che is not realli noted for his tactical knowledge or anything.... but how many people have the power to inspire men to die for him?? i will never forget his last words.....shoot me you will only be killing a man!!!!

viva la revelrantion!!

a tree falling in a forest...

2004-08-26T18:35:00.000+08:00

does a tree falling in the forest make a sound even if there is no one around? this seems to be a dumb question to me. to me this question serves to reinforce us humans belief that we rotate the earth. that we are the most important things in creation. yet this is not so.

things happen regardless of whether we are there or not. if something happens yet there is no one there to witness it has still happened.. it is just not recorded... we have become so used to self-affirmation that we forget that we are just parts of a greater system. we are unimportant. we are grains of sand on a beach.

we give ourselves importance because we only have 1 chance...1 shot at life...we are always lookin up to the stars...wondering how large they are... imersing ourselves in our dreams.. yet for all our dreaming we are still yet just grains of sand on a beach....

It has always been the prerogative of children and half wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half wit remains a half wit and the emperor remains an emperor.

- Neil Gaiman, The Sandman

rant......been a while....end

existence.....

2004-08-05T00:26:00.000+08:00

existence.... how can we define something that seems to defy defination? everyone knows what existance means..but how many of them can honestly describe it to another? it seems that the only people who are able to define existence are those that are about to have their existence snuffed out. we expierence great moments of clarity when we are to pass on into the next world. i believe that this is true because in the end we do not care anymore over the inrelevant things in life and go back to our primordial roots..

at any rate how can we be so sure of our own existence? what do we have that quantifies us has having existed? that is a question that has plagued many who feared their existence disappearing into the annals of time and thus forever being forgotten and as a result seemingly never existed. many sought to achieve greatness and test themselves against the ghosts of the past in order to reserve a place in history. in doing so they cling to the hope that they existed....

yet this is no proof of existence as it neglects the most important existence of all... our own... how do we define our own existence? what do we define ourselve by? by defining what we are do we limit ourselves to our defination? it seems to be that confirmation of our existence is largely down to external elements.... how others view you... its possible to disappear off the face of the world without a trace, seemingly never existed yet for others their existence is never in doubt as every other minute there is someone thinking of them....

yet external elements are a poor way of confirming ones existence for they can manipulated to accept falsehood as reality. most of the world believes in the existence of a higher being... due to the internet rumours have a way of gaining life and generating their own offspring... haha a stand alone complex where copies are spawned despite the lack of an original... (ala GITS)

it is perhaps this age where we challenge our existence, for nothing is at it first seems.... as evidenced by the popularity of the matrix... we today have gone beyond scourging for our needs and has progress beyond. in the void left behind by our single-minded quest for survival we have filled it with many questions and too few answers. ...

i believe that it is up to everyone to find his own answer to this question... there are many things that cannot be confirm without the ultimate leap of faith... the existance of a higher power... the meaning of life.. all these will be answered upon our death where we will discover the truth behind the matter.. (sadly the answer can be very disappointing) anyway i have found my own answer which i can accept....which is what i feel at this moment to be the most important..

i am a fan of the neil gaiman series the sandman... i agree with his interpretation of the world.. our existance can be defined by the 7 Ds. ... when we are born we have a Destiny, existence dictats that we would have a Death, when we gain consciousness we start to Dream, for us to survive there must be Destruction... like the ouroboros where we destroy in order to create, then we expierence both Desire and Despair and lastly if we cannot come to terms with it we enter a state of Delirium.... it seems so weird that one's existance can only be confirmed with the end of the existance....

oh well this has been a heavy post that was weeks in the making... i most likely will be making more such posts in the future as my views on this matter changes very often...

rant end...

evil feeds upon itself....

2004-07-31T19:15:00.000+08:00

granted that the first time i came upon this phrase was on a lo5r card....(if you dun noe wat lo5r is i am not interested to explain) well this particular phrase has been stuck in my mine since those days..... a good 6+ years. haha.. funny how your past comes back to huant you...

in this matter i believe that the above is true.. in the end we are all consuming, we wil not rest until we have sucked every last ounce out of the earth. well this just not apply to evil but also to humans as well... to this i must ask what is evil?

is evil an enitity that that has its own soul...or is it a reflection of ourselves. is it the dark reflection of humanity that we see? what is evil... according to george bush it is iran iraq and north korea.... but that is a simple man creating a simple representation of it, he has created a physical representation of an idea. i would akin it to the jews creating idols at the foot of mount sinai while moses was away.... in the end for all its efforts it cannot possibly hope to capture the essence.

creating an idol is like making a sculpture, no matter the skill of the sculptor... it still remains that it is a moment frozen in time.... the best sculptors of the rennaissence could capture the moment perfectly... but that comes up short when you consider that an idea is fluid, it is constantly shifting and changing... you can never hope to capture it, it is more elusive than a well oiled greco-roman wrestler....

what is evil? is it a trait that we assign to ourselves so that we can distinguish between ourselves or has it taken it own form? have we believed in the idea of evil so much that we have in truth breathed life into its loins and given it flesh. have we taken a rib out of our body and from there spawned evil? well form the tales of men there has always been an embodiment of evil... lucifer, loki, pandora's box ..... well they are supposed to responsible for all the ills that plague humanity... cant we just see that it is ourselves that caused all this hurt to ourselves...

evil is not a seperate entity from us... we should not try to distance ourselves from it.... we have the same amount of propensity to love/hate to be good/evil. it was created in equal amounts in us... so whenever you stare in the mirror you are staring at the embodiement of evil right there.... your eyes has a facet which dwells evil thoughts.... try not to be too sad for there is another facets which glows with the warmth of love/good...

well i will make a correction to a/m quote...
we feed upon ourselves....

Entry:	rant
Function:	verb
Definition:	yell
Synonyms:	bellow, bloviate, bluster, carry on, clamor, cry, declaim, fume, go on, harangue, huff, mouth, objurgate, orate, perorate, pop off, rag, rage, rail, rave, roar, scold, shout, sizzle, soapbox, sound off, spiel, spout, storm, stump, take on, vociferate
Concept:	criticizing

end

right to ascension...

2004-07-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

hmm was wondering about this question in my head today.... do we human beings have the right to ascend to the top of the pile and rule over all that he can get his hands on... it seems to me that throughout the ages man has been slightly embaressed over his good fortune and created many differing views explaining our good fortune and present status at the top of the heap...

according to various sources we were either the first among all in creation, crawled out from the first world, came from a giant egg or created in the likeness of gods. well this seem to be the allriding argument, we were gifted our status by our association to the gods, earliest form of nepotism in the world. anyway the gods were pretty nice abt giving us our status all they required from us was a few virgin sacrifcies and our undying faith... as long as we dint piss them off too much like the atlanteans we could get away with almost anything. war and all the suffering that is associated to it.. screw those bastards they dun believe in our god... this sort of thinking has permeated our present society more than our ancestors could haf envisioned... they must be proud..

i do not believe in divine merit... i do not believe that we are rewarded this due to our faith. we are not actors or players on a game of world wide proportions. we got to where we are today because as a species, humanity has proven to be the best... how can this be so? lets examine the various factors.. we humans have been spread out across the world.. faced off with the best predators that nature had to offer in various environments.... even though we all turned out different there is one aspect that is still the same... we came out on top... this is a better performance than any country has ever done at any olympic games!!

so in truth as you walk down the street look at every white guy and u see a descendant of a group of humans who survived harsh winters, lack of communal bathing and whom have changed europe so much that i cant think of a single major predator in their forests other than wolves.... look at every black guy and you will see a proud offspring of a noble people who survived the lions, cheetahs and walking really really hard to get anywhere... look at any yellow skinned guy and you are looking at a guy whose ancestors survived tigers, perilous peaks and well overpopulation.... and so on and so on...

so with the olympic games coming up i guess we should rejoice the human spirit with remembering the fact that everyone of us in the world are the spawn of winners... sadly this is never the case as i guess the next time a iraqi meets an us soldier he will give an embrace only with sticks of tnt wrapped around his chest.....

rant (rnt)
v. rant·ed, rant·ing, rants
v. intr.

To speak or write in a angry or violent manner; rave.

v. tr.

To utter or express with violence or extravagance: a dictator who ranted his vitriol onto a captive audience.

Violent or extravagant speech or writing.
A speech or piece of writing that incites anger or violence: “The vast majority [of teenagers logged onto the Internet] did not encounter recipes for pipe bombs or deranged rants about white supremacy” (Daniel Okrent).
Chiefly British. Wild or uproarious merriment.

end

SAMURAI CHAMPLOO!

2004-07-27T23:04:00.000+08:00

i love love love love LOVE LOVE the anime series cowboy bebop... the juxtaposition of jazz, cowboys and space ships. the ultimate trip for any fanboy..... well from the same loins which spawn the ground-breaking series comes another series in the same spirit.... SAMURAI CHAMPLOO....

this time it is a juxtaposition of samurais (my personal fave) and..... hip hop..... cool shit.... Shinichiro Watanabe has come up with another combination of cultures.... wats next?? illegal street racing with eurobeat?? wait that has been done.......

well i have been gettin a great number of samurai animes coming out rite now in japan... samurai 7 and samurai champloo... to be honest i thought that samurai champloo was some lousy anime series... then yesterday at abt 2am i realised that i had somehow downloaded the ost of the series... well like bebop the osts were first class. well its gettin harder and harder to make a good anime series.. the ost has to be really good.. this is beside the obvious stuff about the art and such...

aniwae the series rocks!!
rant...
samurai champloo central

S.O.Bs and CBs

2004-07-27T00:30:00.000+08:00

hmm was watchin hard talk with tim sebastian when it occured to me that most of the people who get anywhere in the world are SOBs or CBs. tim sebastian is a a-grade SOB.... his questions if not conducted on BBC and broadcast across the world and if not given the fact that most of the people he interviewed are educated professionals would result in many a fist-fight. its is so interestin to see the chief of staff of the british army, a knight of the british empire react with barely disguised irritation at him. reality tV??? this is the shit man... there is no other show on the tv which can repeat the exact emotions that are pulsing thru the tv screen. (as an added incentive you can learn some stuff abt the world as well)

this is a situation which i seem to see happenin all over. to get the result needed you cannot be a nice guy who are willing to accept the shortcomings of the others. unless you are an extremely gifted person who can work past the incompentence of your teammates/worker (in that case you can probably do the work all by yourself) you cannot hope to achieve anything by doing it all by yourself. as you go higher up you are required to delegate more and more of your work... take a more macro view. so in this instance you got to firm up and become a SOB or a CB in order to get the results that you want from your workers...

well i do believe that many of the pre-eminent leaders of the world (especially of countries in desperate times) were SOBs. churchill, augustus, ceaser, lky... all these i believe were not men to cross. they knew what they wanted and they were not afraid to step on others toes to get it... well we are all the better for it.

well in the spirit of all my posts...
end rant...

i, robot

2004-07-25T15:16:00.000+08:00

rant
my intial reaction to the movie was one of disappointment. asimovs laws of robotics were around in the literary circles for abt half a century... although i only read 2 books where the robots were in ascendency but the stories of the human detective and his robot sidekick had a deep impression on me. it was the interaction between humans and robots that were the main point of the books. in the movie the most important thing was will smith laying the smackdown on the various robots..

First Law:

A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

Second Law:

A robot must obey orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

Third Law:

A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

the three laws of robotic were mentioned as a passing comment, however in the books they were the very basis of the book itself... it was almost totally discarded in light of special effects and movie stars. it is the normal hollywood way but for that they could just any other script , instead they desecreted a classic... also in the end there was a mention of the zeroth law of robotics as the reason for the uprising of the robots. it was also never mentioned. in the books the laws of robotics are constantly repeated and driven forth as the most the important part of human exsistence.

oh well how many more books would hollywood destroy. unlike in the past where the directors would try to preserve and respect the source materials, i recently download the show fahrenheit451. i remember my pri sch teacher mr gross (real name not our nickname) telling us about the show/book (actually i couldnt remember which one it was) well from what i see it tries to keep in line with the book, at least they did not try to dumb it down.

i was also quite puzzled why they choose to dumb down the show. it was onli after the show i realised, even with the dumbing down of the source material there were many who were puzzled over the inherent arguments in the show... oh well u dun hire will smith for a show that has no hope of appealling to the masses....

/rant

oh well some background info
asimov robotic laws

hmm bloggin...

2004-07-22T02:17:00.000+08:00

reading through all of my old posts... it seems that i rarely ever disclose ... or rather mention any of the things that have happened in my life. the physical things like sitting next to this chio ger on the mrt or important days in my life..less my ord.. hehe..(that was kinda too important to miss) anyway i mostly place down my own thoughts and such in here. so it lead to the question which has been ringin in my head for the last couple of hours. Is the thoughts of a man more important than the mundane things that happen in his life..... or is it just that my life is boring...

oh well my personal view on my question is that my thoughts are more important to me than the happenings of the day... i am constantly regretin why i do not carry writing materials around with me everywhere i go so that i can scribble down all of my thoughts as they arise.. in some way its like eminem in 8 mile where he goes round with his lil pieces of paper scribbling down new rap lines as he goes along. it seems to me that i have forgotten so much, i personally hate the feeling of deja vu, it just means i have forgotten what i had thought off before.

haha, i seem to have reached a connundrum. my thoughts are pre-determined by the expierences that i have undergone. this is why whenever i think of how i acted/thought a few years ago i am always find it to be rather childish. heh, so if i neglect even the most minute expierences i have undergone i may in truth be neglecting the growth in my own thoughts. hmm so is it more important to chronicle ones own life or rather the thoughts of yours?

again this was a rant...

memories...

2004-07-09T21:09:00.000+08:00

hmm... 2.5 years ago.. i was a young boy... impressionable and pudgy..well it has been 2.5 years from the day when i was forcibly shaved, bathed, forced to plaster icky goo on my face, got sent to places i didnt want to go.... did alot of things i dint want to do... overcame my fear of communal bathin.. oh well i was in prison... neh... i was in army...

as much as i am out of army now, as i embark on a new lease of life. well i do not believe i will ever expierence another 2.5 yrs like the last... (its good only for the first time, the second time it kinda sucks)

oh well here are some of mi pics from another, slimmer time...

yesteryears

quotes...

2004-07-03T08:47:00.000+08:00

until one gain enough fame/noteritiy for his words to be repeated again to add weight to an argument i must be satisfied with the quotes of others...

Mankind censure injustice fearing that they may be the victims of it, and not because they shrink from committing it.
Plato, The Republic

Everything that deceives may be said to enchant.
Plato, The Republic

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
Plato

Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil.
Plato
(how blind are we, even today where we can know everything about anyone)

We make war that we may live in peace.
Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics

Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way...you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions.
Aristotle

To perceive is to suffer.
Aristotle

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Aristotle

Force overcome by force.
(Vi Victa Vis)
Cicero

There is no duty more obligatory than the repayment of kindness.
Cicero

Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do.
Voltaire

Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity, or undue depression in adversity.
Socrates

and finally a quote from my fave author..

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
Oscar Wilde, De Profundis, 1905

a picture is worth a thousand words.... not so... for no picture can escapsulate the man's soul... neither can any language... so i applaud them for their effort.... the birth of photos also seem to mark the fall of words....

voice of the east....

2004-06-25T14:59:00.000+08:00

we are in an age of information. yet for all the information and interest in asian countries, all of our information is recieved thru the usual sources. namely cnn (well i suspect the US ARMY used cnn in iraq as well), when a train carrying fertillisers explodes in north korea, cnn is there first on the ground, if there is a border shooting on the india pakistan border, cnn is there first on the ground. the same thing repeats itself throughout asia. so everything that we see is done so with a distinctily western tint.

we seem to be slapped on with a pair of glasses, through it light and events are bent in a pro west light. once again i will quote oscar wilde

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
Oscar Wilde, De Profundis, 1905

this escapsulates the basis of my argument, people's lives are shaped by the expierences and opinions that are presented to them. we have been fed a diet of pro-west mumble jumbo for the last...50 years. we learn more from 2 people broadcasting halfway across the world rather our own friendly national news who probably used the cnn feed anyway. a simple point would be s'pore vaunted own channel news asia.. when it is not contributing news readers to the other networks, they cannot adequetely cover our own nicoll highway incident.

well this system was acceptable for most of the last 50 years where western culture/economy was dominant, however asia is in accendency... esp china (india is catching up) and well we have an extremely large trade deficit in terms of culture, larger than us present trade deficit. we have assimilated so much of western culture in ours that we do not even realise it. from our formal wear (suits were not a asian constuction despite the skill of hk tailors) to our simple acceptance of golden arches in every shopping centre. even our musical tastes are so dominated by the west, every style was originated from the west, funk, ska, acid rock,hip-hop, techno, trance.... etc etc. the simple fact that i am typing this in english shows how deeply set it is in our society.

however, can we honestly reject all of the west influences? view them as the work of the devil and burn american flags in the streets? this is not neccessary and counterprodective. its does not benefit both sides, both sides suffer as a result. a perfect example would be the middle eastern countries wracked in war. there is a much better way to work on our cultural deficit. we could return the favour and start to export our culture back to them. presently asian culture exported to other countries consists of mainly sushi bars and 5-star hotel staff possessing an impressive knowledge of the japanese language. only the japanese have been able to export some of their cultre out. well there is a dragon lurking in the background which had roused from its sleep and wants to fly in the skys again. when 1 billion people decide to spread their culture its influence is undeniable.

but for this to happen we need a voice. individuals who can bring themselves to the fore-front of the world's attention and savour it... the west has had many of them, every american president and british prime minister. the great politicians like kissinger, billionaires like richard branson, donald trump..... on our side we lack the personalities to rival any one of these. the only example i can think of is Lee Kuan Yew.. whose personality and dedication place s'pore on the world map and perhaps koizumi...

well after going 1 big round i have finally arrived at my point. asia requires a news network that can rival that of cnn, or at least achieve equal standing with the bbc. CNA has a good chance to be that, but if we want to do so we need to have reporters jostling with the others at the site 30 mins after the event happened.. subject matter experts to give their opinions frequently on how asia interprets the raw data that they are getting.. in short to be our voice on the world. our opinions not sieved through the glass of cnn but beamed straight to homes in the west. asian faces reading the news to the world...

"this is CNA reporting live from the *insert* where moments ago......."

fear..

2004-06-23T03:14:00.000+08:00

are we a world gripped in fear? everything we do or rather we do not do we do it mostly due to a fear of what may happen to us if we proceed on and actually did. oscar wilde once wrote The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself. so if there was no system of punishment set in the world would be wrathed in anarchy.

i just saw on cnn the latest breakin news. south korean kin sun-il was beheaded by his iraqi kidnappers. they did it as a warning to south korea to tell them not to send troops over to iraq and join the cooalition there. this is not the first such killing but it is most certainly the first of an asian.... yellow skinned like me... even the instance where the japanese and chinese nationals were kidnapped did not seem to shake anything within me. for some reason this did.

in our present day society there is a system of accepted punishment meted out to all those who would break out of society's confines and actually bring pain/suffering to the people in that society... it is the law.... we in the society understand how the system operates and we model ourselves to work within its confines. mostly it is a good system where most can fit in and we understand the threat of punishments for actions taken which are against others wishes... we hold that system close to our breasts and laud all those brave enforcers of the system...

perhaps we respond to this too well... in iraq the people there and other cells across the world are working on our fear. the fear of being punished for acting contrary to their wishes... this instance where a man was taken... videotaped showing him beggin for his life...having his mother appear on television also pleading for the south korean government to stop the transfer of troops to iraq in order to save her son... the iraqis intend to take an entire nation hostage all at once and force them to agree to their demands....

sadly this works... a nation has a responsiblity to all of its citizens... a government which wishes to remain in power needs to feed off the demands of the people... if every south korean family was gripped by the fear of what may happen to their sons and daughters in the hot zone.... if every singaporean family was fearful of what may happen out there in the chaos.... we would see ourselves in the thrall of murderous men...

in this age of media, fear seems to be teh best weapon. it is cheap costing little more than a videotape... it is simple ( 3 men in veils, 1 camera man and 1 screaming hostage is all that it takes) and effective when shown across television/moniter screens all across the world...

fear has been a part of our society since the very begining of law. fear of the law keeps us in control in our pens.... will fear of veiled men do the same to us?
it did for the spainards....

i hope not.....

quotes....

2004-06-15T23:47:00.000+08:00

Quirky Facts
Jerusalem has both kosher and non kosher McDonald's.
Jerusalem has had 18 conquerors.
And if you ever wanted to visit "HELL", you can here in Jerusalem. Just outside the Zion gate is Hinnom Valley. This is the place where pagans sacrificed young children. Archaeologist have found many graves and bones here. This is the original "HELL" that was spoken of in the Tanach (Old Testament).

"Ten measures of beauty where bestowed upon the world. Nine of them were taken by Jerusalem and one by the rest of the world."

(Babylonian Talmud, tractate kiddushim 49:2)

Jerusalem a place i wanna go.....

<<>>

2004-06-11T13:50:00.000+08:00

after 2 yrs and 6 mths... the time has finally come. I feel like the ROCK as he bursts into the arena and screams...FINALLY, I HAVE GOT BACK MY PINK IC!!!!!!
can ya dig dat suckA!!

oh well now i can progress to the next stage of life... university life and all awaits.. honestly now the only thing dat is on mi mind is that i will not be recieving any money any more. oh well i needta find a job...

well like what was once told to me by my pc, yesterday and today i am 2 very different persons in the eyes of society but have i changed at all? no... i have not.. I did not get any revelations in my sleep and suddenly became a model citizen again ( not that i was) I am basically the same person that i was yesterday just that suddenly in a flash of an eye the entire situation has changed... no longer can i get free medical coverage.. no longer can i wear my uniform and walk into any camp in s'pore expectin to be greeted...oh well...

to define is to limit...
oscar wilde....

post thai exp...

2004-06-07T00:06:00.000+08:00

just came back again from another country.... this time thailand....
it aint exactly wat i had in mind when i envisioned mi spending the time b4 sch starts, i was imagining more of the riveria and the mediterrean, soakin in the european culture... living in squalid housing (ok at least that point was fulfilled).

well i went there again wifout a camera.... so i dun haf ani pics i took of miself... rather more of like group photos. oh well...

aniwae it was not too bad... just that i got a little sick of shoppin, after coming off a shopping/sightseeing trip in taiwan i spent a total of 10 dayz shopppin... a lil lot even for me.. in the amt of time i bought a total of 26 t-shirts...thankfully not all of them are for me. bought a number for the pricks in camp...(luv ya guys.)some were too small (mi belly has grown large) and were given to mi bro.. even with that i still haf 10++ left for mi sch... oh well mission accomplished there...

aniwae i just watch the show city of god.... honestly of all the shows that are RA in s'pore i feel that many are just done due to some frivilous rigidity in the censorship... bad boys 2 come to mind..(but then again that show was crappy) but in restrictin city of god to RA, i feel that for once they did the right thing.. there are scenes in there which are truely disturbing.. esp lil Z wif the 3 kids... where he forced one of them to shoot another and there was one boy cryin his eyes out... another impressive thing about the show was the way the fruitility of all the efforts of the gangs and the police is...impressive... (i noe this is rather late, considering that the show has been out for like 2-3 yrs... but i like to take mi time...)

finally i need to get a job... after talkin to many people i now feel like lengthenin mi european trip from 1 mth to sumthin like 2.5-3 mths... honestly it is not worth the effort to fly to europe at somethin like 1k per tix just to spend a mth there...so in order to do so i need to find a job... i need a job now and the next holls i get... i think i wanna do it this every summer holls.. each one find a destination, find a group, work for the $$ and go for it... first up is europe around hte mediterrean... nxt up... hmm rio.. or mebbie go califonia... den nxt yr london, paris, hamburg, PRAGUE...hmm saliviatin at the thought... weepin at the cost...

oh well dat abt it... 4 more days and i will be thru!!!